2900 hands - tonight sucked

Ninja.

Tonight is off to a terrible start. I am so frustrated when it goes like this. I am fine with the concept of suckouts- I really am. But I’ve NEVER had something the OPPOSITE of this… and for this to be okay or normal or not fucking horrible- it needs a counterpoint.

My first hand was something of an omen. QQ in the BB- walk. First hand. Okay, free small blind- but it sucks to have opportunities taken away. Same table- 20 hands or so later I get stacked. QQ vs. AA post flop. Ooops- shit happens. Then I get stacked when a guy raises from mid and I reraise with AK. He calls. Flop gives me TPTK. He bets, I reraise, he shoves all in. The board was something like A74. So unless he raised big and called with 77, 44, or a really shitty ace- I am only scared of AA. So, one hand makes “sense” and is scary. An unlikely hand given that the other two aces are accounted for. I call- he turns over TT. The turn is a king… the river a ten. Bang- second stacking. I chopped FIVE massive pots. One we made 12 cents- the rest were break even or loses- I think they increase the rake for chopped pots.

Anyway, the only time I got my money in bad was the AA vs. QQ- everything else was me getting fucked on the river. Oh yeah, the other one was the guy who shoved into my top two pair with an open ender and hit.

Anyway, I am bummed about it all. I just did a quick look and this was pretty much my worst sitting yet- my net loss was 3 buyins. I left one table at almost 2 buyins and another at +25%. Goddamn it.

On tilt and taking a break.

Watched some Poker After Dark: The Cash Game. I am still tilty, but I don’t think its “play wrong make bad choices tilty” just “irritated with the world tilty”. Here is an interesting stat for you… I’ve had quads THREE TIMES in 2700 hands- and I am down a big blind with it.

And my second round ends almost as bad as the first in terms of tangible results and far worse emotionally.

I flopped FOUR straights- three times the turn card paired one of my straight cards. Twice that made it so that the other player hit their straight- once I paid them off for a lot- once for a little. The other time I had to fold. The time I got paid I got next to nothing. I flopped two pair twice- both times the turn put a straight or flush on the board. I paid off pocket aces AGAIN. I had aces twice and kings once and queens once or twice- I made money on one set of the aces- but I only made about 40bb because the guy was short stacked.

I had stopped writing for a while. Things were getting really bad for me emotionally and I was simultaneously getting wrecked at the tables- shit tons of suckouts. Everything I wrote was rage and frustration. I’ve been easing back in- but as you can see its going poorly. I had made a CONSCIOUS CHOICE that I would write less of that stuff- but it was probably 99% wishful thinking that I just wouldn’t feel that way. I am going to try to wrap this up without saying anything horrible… But the way I feel right now is pretty bad. Like, as bad as it gets bad. I am waffling back and forth from- nevermind. It doesn’t matter.

I when your big hands get counterfitted and sucked out on as often as mine do- and you hit them as seldom as I do I just don’t know how it can be profitable in the long term. Like, the easy example people talk about is set mining. You hit it one in ten, you make ten times your bet/call and you are good. Except- sometimes you go down set over set or to a flush or straight… Those loses are fucking huge. So how much do you really need to make on average to justify your bet/call AND compensate for the hands where you get crushed???

Anyway, I am completely fucking demoralized right now. Nothing worked tonight. My good hands got fucking bitched, my draws were shit, I ran into fucking everything… and the worst part was I started playing poorly because of it. My first session had one, maybe two hands where I did the wrong thing- and those were late after I was tilted. My second session- I don’t even fucking know. I am a big fan of keeping my decisions simple and there was no fucking possible way to keep them simple. You get into a pot cheap with 57s and flop the 468 straight- fucking radical. You bet, you get called, the turn is a fucking 7. Shit, I better shut this down- you bet again- you get called. River is a ten. Now what the fuck do you do? I will tell you- you fold when the asshole goes all in.

How often should you chop a pot? I figure I chopped 10 pots tonight. That seems like a huge number.

I am going to go read and pretend I don’t exist. Tonight I lose.