Double your bankroll- or not.

Ninja.

Been a little quiet. Actually, a lot has happened. Not entirely sure even where to start honestly.

A few weeks of home games… There are four scenarios that we’ve seen play out. Either I catch no breaks, I catch no cards, I get sucked out on, or I play poorly- or some combination. And really the time I felt really bad about playing poorly I pushed all in preflop with TT with 60% of my starting stack for a 20x or so reraise and was called by AK or AQ- don’t remember which. Basically the home games have been terrible for a few weeks. I don’t remember if I wrote about the night paint made a shitty call preflop to a fucking reraise, a shitty call on the flop with nothing, a shitty call on the turn with a gutshot, and then crippled me when his J4 off runner runner straighted to 2-6 flush and beat my set of aces…

I mention that because today he said he did a 5 way chop at Bay 101 Saturday in a tourney where the buy-in was 500. Even writing that sentence almost has me in tears. He is not a loose aggressive player. He is a reckless luckbox and I fucking HATE to know that I am putting in as much time and effort into building this skill- and guys like that are getting paid regularly. I fucking hate it. I also hate that 7k would represent a massive life changing windfall for me- and once that was a only slightly more than a weekly paycheck.

How did this happen to my life?

Somewhere in there I cashed at Garden City one night- that was cool. Then I went out on the final table bubble and Truth went out just before the money bubble. Haven’t been back… Truth bought a PS3 and it has been “the new thing”. Although, the poker table was delivered tonight- that is pretty cool.

I took 3rd in a 180 a short while back. This mostly repaired the damage I’d done to my bankroll and then I’ve been pushing the 5.50 9 seats. I am up a solid 30% for this buy in. When I logged in just now and started this game I was grumbling that I wasn’t going to move until I’d doubled my roll. I am sure I won’t try to stick to that. Its 4am and I am tired and COMPLETELY AWARE of how horrible a framework that is.

Tonight I played okay- not great- not bad. I made a great call when Sheriff tried to bluff me on a big pot. I made a shaky laydown that everyone was impressed with when Tables bluffed at a pot (I had the better hand but he pushed all in and I had 19 outs with two streets and exactly 2-1 odds. And… that was about it. I made a few small call-folds and limp folds. And then called all-in with 9Ts with an M of about 4. Other guy had A8off.

The thing is- if I hadn’t played those limp hands I would have had three playable hands all night. I had AK, AJ, and KK. Other than that I had 66 once and then either BLO hands or very small suited connector or middle connectors. I swear I folded 6 rounds without a hand better than 96off.

I get so excited about poker and I look forward to the home game so much that if I don’t get cards or if I play poorly it feels like a sneeze that doesn’t happen. Or sex that is interrupted before climax. I feel unfulfilled, hollow, and itchy all at once. I almost always bounce online right away to keep playing. I then won two or three hands and then folded until LEVEL FUCKING NINE in a 9 seat.

Heh- first place. Bank is up almost 50%. Maybe I will double it?

I just did a little Poker Tracker browsing… It was interesting. The only two table positions I am negative for are the BB and the SB. The others are in a goofy order- but it’s interesting. Also, I am profitable for two pair and up now- although that happened a while ago.

And then a third. Two for two!

Uh… and a second. Three for three.

I got CRUSHED with 8 players left when my overpair (TT) lost to trip sevens. I was down to 20 chips and managed to cling and linger and get up to 700 chips and back to 40 and up to 500… The blinds were 100/200 when I went out ON THE BUBBLE. I actually almost made it in. Big stack reraised somebody all-in on a bluff with 57off. Smaller stack called with AK. Flop had a 7 but the river was a K. Dang it all!

Anyway, okay, I will stop here.