Not a terrible day.

Ninja.

WARNING: This is a two day post since I never got around to posting it yesterday… I was really defeated feeling.

Well, first tourney of the day is done and I am awesomely on my way to continuing my record. I signed up for the daily dollar. I went out before I paid a blind- so I guess that is good? Max value for my money… I was dealt JJ UTG. 4x raise. UTG+1 calls with 77 and hit his hidden set to crack my overpair on a “safe” board.

A lot of the reading I’ve done lately would bitch me out for being willing to go all-in with less than 2 pair. I talked about this in Co. too. But then last night I was dragged through the mud about not calling an all-in reraise when I had top pair and a good kicker with a board that looked harmless.

Honestly, I don’t feel like these questions are that hard to answer “correctly” I just think I’ve got the worst fucking luck ever. Last night I was doing some tracker analysis with Truth and a few key facts stick out in my mind. He has about 3x the data I do- I’ve only just started collecting again- and we found a lot of places where our ratios matched pretty well. Anything close and I just figure it’s standard deviation stuff. But, here were some interesting ones.

Two pair is a losing hand for me- by a lot. I am not profitable until I hit a set. He is profitable at two pair.

We had roughly equivalent sets and flushes (how many of them we hit), but the percentage of his hands that turned into full houses was 10x mine. .06 to .6 and his ratio of straights was almost as far above mine. Remember, this is the guy who had AA hold up 8 times in Co. to my drawing it once- ever.

How do I reconcile that? The data sample isn’t huge yet- but my hands have been NOTICABLY BETTER since I started using tracker. And its not just a feeling- I wasn’t using the database, but I was recording a fuck-ton of hands. I went out of my way to record ANYTHING like me getting lucky.

Just a quick update on my day so far… I’ve played 3 hands. JJ, cracked by 77. AK, folded to massive reraise (turned out to be kings), and TT, flop had a J and KJ took the hand.

Let’s add AJoff to the mix- 4x raise was called. Missed the flop and it had K in it- folded to a continuation bet from the BB caller. And, now fucked from AK, TT, and AJ all losing me money- I push all in with A7s and get called by K9off who hits 2 pair.

Truth is in a 26 dollar buy-in tourney. I am jealous. He has already added another full house to his stack. I joined a deep stack 2.25 3600… We will see how big it gets.

Okay, reg is closed- 581 players. 40 out. I’ve been reseated 5 times and played zero hands.

Just watched a 4 way all-in. 99, AK, 77, and AJ. 99 won. There is also a guy at my table with 13,335 chips. We started at 300. I haven’t played a hand yet. 442 left.

I basically doubled up by accident just now.

QJ in the small blind.
Many limpers.
I limped too.
Hit top pair but there were two flush cards.
First to act so I put out a put sized pet.
It folded to the button- who called.
Turn was harmless- so I bet a little more than half the pot- keeping the pressure up if he was drawing.
He called.
River was harmless but since he limped he could easily have middle two pair or something.
I check.
He bets about the pot- half my stack.
I had already decided I would call any bet lower than all-in.
I went to call and MISSED THE FUCKING BUTTON and reraised all-in.
He called with middle pair.

People are fucking dumb. Why am I not profitable?

After 107 hands I had my best hole cards of the game. 99. I’d seen a couple of smaller pairs and AKoff a couple of times. Never AQ, never AJ… ATs at least once. I was even on the button for this hand. There was a limper and then the hijack- a frequent raiser raised 3x. I called. Flop cam 78T of a suit that matched one of my nines. Frequent raiser bets- I call. Turn pairs the board. Frequent raiser goes all in. I try to convey this to Truth- cowardishly and foolishly looking for support or guidance- but he didn’t listen. I had a strong hand an more outs than I could quickly count. I called. He turned over QQ and the river was a blank. Game over.

While sitting here I watched Truth get KK twice JJ once AQ suited twice AQ not suited at least once and AK at least twice... a full house… Not sure what else- honestly I wasn’t paying much attention.

He was right. I’m not special.

I don’t even have the sense of self to tell the world to fuck off.

5+5 SNG 9

Within the first couple of hands I had 66 in the SB. One limper. I limped and god bless I hit my set. Top set no less. There WAS a flush draw out there. I decided I would risk not betting it and just watch for that third flush card. They both checked. Turn gave me goddamn quads. I checked, they both checked, mother fuckers. River is a 7. I make a min bet. One guy folds, other guy calls. I make 5 big blinds.

The guy who paid me the extra 30 chips calls a decent preflop raise by me in position a couple hands later. I am holding AJ. Flop comes something like 8TK. Gut shot and an over only. He checks, I decide I should check to switch it up- maybe this was wrong. Turn is another king. Not putting in money now! He checks, I check. River is another fucking king. I feel reasonable about my ace now- provided he doesn’t now have quads. He checks, I check, and his 88 wins.

So, quads and an AJ later I am up 2 big blinds.

Trapped myself a bit by hitting a pair and a flush draw (sound familiar?) when my continuation bet met a reraise and I felt I was committed. Lots of outs too. So I call- I do not complete- two pair wins it… for the other guy.

I continued as a desperate small stack until 5Ts called my all in with A4s (same suit) and he hit… guess… wait for it… guess… 2 pair.

NEXT!

Okay, going back to 2.25. Regardless of my concerns about player quality my bank is now chopped in half since I started. I’ve had nothing resembling profitable play in weeks… I might as well throw away my money slower.

Funny, true, sad, pathetic story. Pocket sixes. 8 high board. River completes a flush (3 cards) and pairs the board- two fours. My opponent made a small bet that I feel I could reasonably call based on my second pair hidden status… I folded because the 44s. Since I am almost 100% negative for 2 pair.

Note: I know this is wrong. I no longer believe it matters.

DAY TWO

I am signed up for a 5+5 SNG 45. It needs another 20 or so people so I’ve got some time. Let’s hit some updates.

It should be clear to anyone reading this that I am frustrated and having a hard time. Mostly, I am in a near panic and hopeless feeling state because I don’t know how to change or where to turn. I *feel* as though I am on an extreme- or perhaps even improbable- edge of the standard deviation. Lately I’ve been trying to actually get some science to back up my “sense” of what the range of probability should be and for how long. My Poker Tracker is up to 2131 hands. The folks on 2+2 ask you to not even post unless you have 10k+. I’ve heard you need 10k, 25k, and 100k from different sources. So, I’ve got no problem saying that the 2k of death cards is statistically insignificant. At the same time, I was coming off 5 weeks of hell when I bought Poker Tracker to set my mind at ease. I had to wonder “am I really just discounting all the times my cards hold up?” But I estimate that 5 week binge at about 15k hands. It’s not “real data” the way the 2k in Poker Tracker are… But emotionally I am nearing a 20k streak of comically bad hands. It is going to be very tough to put the right foot forward for 10k+ more hands if things don’t change.

Anyway, regardless of the cards, I know I am not “the best poker player I can be” and to A) be duly diligent and B) do something else to stem tide I’ve been trying to dig into the theory and science more. Hence, lots of reading.

Played my first hand. Raised into a small stack with position. I had AJoff. He went all in with K6off. Guess who won?

Seriously, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I stole a much limped into pot from the BB. Then we went on break.

So, I feel that I am getting bad beat, cold cards, and missing flops at a rate that is inconsistent with the norm. I recognize and acknowledge that over time my results should trend towards the norm. The frustration I have is that I feel like, and again we are talking feelings- which I am addressing now with tracker, my results are not converging. Will they converge eventually? I can’t argue that they won’t, but my concern is that if that happens too far in the future I will have come to ruin before then.

Truth is little help in this. He sometimes throws out a “oh dude that sucks” hang 1- JJ in the SB…

Okay JJ holds up to A6off and I knock out the guy who doubled through me a minute ago. This is how the cards should play, but when he calls and I see A6off I immediately feel like I am fucked. Sad.

Anyway, Truth. Other than that his attitude is very much “the cards are the cards- you need to play better.” He will sometimes say things that can be interpreted as, “it will even out over time” but there is no sensitivity to how consistent or for how long it has been like this. So, with Truth being (probably) tired of listening to me cry and also not being a help- I turned to “teh internetz” where I found the 2+2 forum.

So far I am impressed. It seems well managed- good signal to noise ratio- the people seem to know what they are talking about- and, most important to me right now, it is chock full of hard core math discussing standard deviation and EV and more.

Blinds at 25/50, in the BB with AToff, I called a 3x from mid. We checked to the river, I never connected, and I folded to his bet. I probably could have stabbed at it at some point, but I just “felt” like he was hoping to reraise me.

I was actually a bit (was? Am!) intimidated by this forum. Lots of jargon and acronyms I don’t know and lots of math and everyone seems to be a winning-over-time player. So I wanted to take the humble approach and do the legwork before I started asking for help. Reading the beginner FAQ and all the recommended threads…

Tried a slightly more than min raise from mid with 44. THREE freaking callers. Board came JQQT5. With two players behind and one in front- clearly I let this go.

And with those failed moves I am back down to roughly the starting stack. There is a very aggressive guy at my table taking a lot of pots. I want to do something about it but my cards are ranging from poop to speculative. I read an article through Full Tilt recently from one of their pros. It was precisely for how to deal with this. Something like “How To Deal With An Aggressive Big Stack Bully.” Don’t bother looking it up- I will synopsize for you: Reraise him with KToff, flop a full house, reraise every street to the river, go all in, and have him call you with nothing. Simple right? Gee thanks Full Tilt Pro I’ve never heard of!

I am in 14 of 23 with the starting stack- which is half the average. M is 10. Small stacks starting to make their moves.

And I am crippled the hand after I write that. I fucking hate the blinds.

BB, T7off
Five limpers.
Flop is paired and gives me open ended.
Not something I feel good acting first of six into so I check
Last to act bets half the pot. I’ve got outs to call that and tons of implied equity if it doesn’t get reraised so I call.
One guy folds- everyone else calls. Five people now.
Turn pairs my 7.
Still, second pair, paired board, lots of people saying maybe they have a hand, so I check.
It checks around.
River is a blank- even with odds I don’t know why I chase hands. By all means check my tracker- if I am not at 10% or less of the hit rate I’ll suck somebody’s dick on the internet.
I check, guy behind me makes a bet- half the pot- everyone folds. It is a very tempting pot for somebody to try and grab… I have a hand… I call it.
He flopped the full house.

I push all in with 88, same guy calls with 66. Rivers his 6. Game over.

Signed up for another.

Anyway, so doing all the pre-reading to make sure I don’t look dumb on this forum. One of the subjects in the FAQ was “should I move up to a level where people respect my raises” to which the answer was “hell no, if you can’t beat bad players you can’t beat good ones!” which is fine. It went on to say “if this is your problem read the How To Beat Players Who Don’T Fold” article. Also, fine. So I read it. What did it say? Value bet with the best hand. Uhm… Again, I know I am at 15k soft hands and 2k real hands but… two fucking pair is a LOSER over time for me. What the fuck do you guys think I am doing that is leading to my losing? Do you imagine I am bluffing? I am a fucking rock- sort of… I am losing because I am seeing FAR FEWER good cards that hit flops than I should and getting sucked out on WAY more than I should.

Let’s do a quick review of that last game.

AJoff to K6off, I am 64% to win, I lose
JJ to A6off, I am 71% to win, I win
T7 on the 899 board… I was 44% to hit something that made me feel good- I did not.
88 vs 66, I am 80% to win, I lose

My stealing of the blinds was a bluff. I had no other reasonable (according to Harrington) opportunities to do anything. I don’t see anything here other than shitty luck- am I missing something?

Anyway, next match is going.

Okay, seriously, this is not a joke.

First hand I have AKoff- I win a decent pot of about 600 chips when my raise gets called but my cbet does not.

A while later…

44 early. UTG limps. I limp- more people limp.
Flop is 4AA.
Checks to me, I bet the pot
Guy behind me calls- I know he has an ace.
Everyone else folds.
Turn is a Q
Did he limp with AQ?
I bet the pot
He reraises me all in
I call
He turns over A5.

River is a 5.

THE RIVER WAS A FIVE.

84.5% to win.

Thanks.

Next.

But seriously, I feel like I am going to puke. It is like this every day.

Truth tries to argue that looking at tournament ending hands is a bad thing to look at since it is preselected as losing hands- sec

Two hands. Another god damned mother fucking open ended draw with the odds to call that did not hit. Followed by 44 (hhhmmm) that my limp was countered wit ha raise and a reraise.

Okay, so Truth- preselected hands. He also says that they are bad to look at since I was more likely to get called. But in the vast majority- and by vast I mean 80% of the hands- I would WANT the call. I *intentionally* am in a position for all my chips with the best hand and am losing.

Several limpers into my SB. I’ve got A4 so I make a push to steal. BB calls, all the limpers call, and the button limper goes all in. Well, A4 isn’t up for that so I fold. A middle position limper called. They turn over JT and KQ. Flop is 7AA. Anyway- original raiser gets fucked- awesome.

Then, I make a steal move with KT. I get a caller. Flop is Q high. We both check. Turn is a K. I bet the pot. He calls. River is an ace. He makes a min bet- 10% of the pot. I call. He turns over AQ. He didn’t bet his top pair top kicker until an overcard- which I fucking hit- lands. Then he fucking calls me and gets his four outer on the goddamn river?

So now I am all-in UTG with KQ. Same guy calls. He has AJsuited. We chop when the board straights. Note: This is the same guy who called the all-in with JT to win.

God my head hurts.

I won with 2 pair. Go me. All-in UTG with KJoff. M is like 4, we are missing a player or two… A6off calls me. I flop 2 pair. He hits NOTHING. *I’m back baby!*

(just in case its not clear- that is sarcasm and humor!)

Still pretty much just looking for a place to put all my chips in sadly.

Won another race! Maybe it is real!

A8off vs 33. I feel a little bad for the guy too. He had just doubled up against a loose aggressive big stack. He was mid position- there were limpers- he makes a min raise… giving them the fold button I suppose. I push all in with my A8. Everyone folds- (SQUEEZE!) and then he calls off half his stack with 33. I actually won by 4 straighting to the ace. But even knowing he had 33 with the limpers in the pot I think I’d be happy to take that hand on… not sure- but why would he put in half his chips like that? What does he think I have? Other than 22 or the WORST 20 hands in poker it is a race at best.

Then, full value from AA- that was nice. The guy got me tit for tat though with AA the next hand against my AT. But he was seriously short stacked and I won a sidepot that had me coming out even anyone.

Anyway, all said and done I am in 5 of 23. NO SUCKOUTS PLEASE!

(unless they are in my favor- I am due some)

Okay, ready?

Loose aggressive guy that I’ve traded blows with is now short stacked (thanks to me hitting my AA first) and he makes a min bet from late. I am in the BB with 8Tsuited. I call and flop 2 pair. Awesome. I know he has no options left- but he COULD fold now and keep being short stacked. I check and he, as expected, bets, and I put him all in. He turns over A5. He has nothing. Turn is a 5. River is a 5.

I was 92.5% to win here btw.

I am really struggling to keep my cool and bet appropriately.

And for a double kick in the nuts- after being knocked to 13 of 16… we go on break. Motherfucker.

RUNNER MOTHERFUCKING RUNNER MAN.

TOP TWO PAIR AGAINST “an over card”

Goddamn it man. That fucking bullshit hand is going to put me out of the fucking tournament. After the break the blinds are so high that it took me from solidly in the front of the field to “look for a place to shove” mode. Even though he was short stacked.

Hey, I got a suckout! Although, it was on somebody who deserved it. Guy limped with TT. I limped in the SB with A6. Flopped TPTK (low board) and pushed. He calls, of course, with his over pair and I hit an ace for two pair… oh! Holy! I won with two pair too! Heh! Anyway, serves him right for not raising preflop. I might have shoved then too given my stack, but still.

The Big Dumb Loud One just came home from drinking- he has a friend (a dude) with him. So my plan to move to poker on TV after this is probably shot.

Man, this is the worst table situation EVER. Short handed- until final table. Guy to my left is the chip leader- guy to his left is a smallstack ready to shove. So, every round is FAST and EXPENSIVE and I can only play premium hands.

Rebalanced is good. Raise with 77 called is bad. Missed flop and c-bet reraised is worse.

Guess what- I am a shove bot again.

Miracle. Got a free flop in the BB with 56off. Flop has two sixes. I check, other guy bets, other guy calls, I go all in… and the guy on the flush draw calls. He doesn’t hit it. OMG, back in!

Well, 7 of 10 but still.

7 of 9. Final Table baby!

OOH I AM SO LUCKY! The Big Dumb Loud One was just grabbing some stuff and they left!

WOOOT! I am so happy!

7 of 8 and still in shove city I think.

M is 6… I might be able to get away with one call or min raise before I am shoving… not sure. Meh, I might have enough stack left after a 3x.

Okay, so two guys are actually below me now- but we are all real close. If I outlast them I am getting paid. Then there are two guys with about 50% on me and then the monster stack.

Note: 50% up guy is all in vs. monster!

Monster folds! Not what I wanted to see!

And the blinds went up. Shit!

Not sure I can do anything elegant now.

AJ suited in the SB!

FUCK I FOLDED IT! Early raised 3x, big stack called… I couldn’t pull the trigger!

Note: Flop came QJ something- not my suit. So, it would have been scary if regardless… Mistake? All in was basically double what they already had. I’d be giving them odds to call… If I pushed they would be looking at 2200 into 7500 or something. And one guy STARTED the bidding, and one guy has 8 x everyone else’s chips. I think this was a good fold.

Big stack knocked out the remaining 50% guy (remaining because the first one doubled up a bit ago).

So, now we are down to 6. Two of us at 4k. One guy with a big blind more than us. Then a 50% more guy, a triple guy, and the big stack.

Oh, heh, I thought this was the bubble- nope- in the money!

I steal the blinds with AJ and then go all in the next hand with AQ. Big stack calls with A5. Flop hits ALL AROUND him. 87, flush cards, but never completes. Q wins it. HOY!

6th and 5th might as well pay the same but 4th is a nice increase. I am now solidly in 4th!

This is always such a volatile phase though.

Blinds are soo tempting to steal, nobody wants to get knocked out, small stacks NEED to double up… Crazy motivations.

Scary, KJoff in mid. Min raise. One caller, stole it after the flop. Oh man, adrenaline!

And BLAME we lose a body. I am happy- moving up the payout ladder- and sad- guy who took him out stole a limper or two also. He was the same size as me but is now double. Then a walk!

AQsuited- I 3x it from hijack and get repopped all-in. Not what I want but at this stage I don’t think you can toss AQsuited. Sorry Chad! I call. He has 88.

AND I WON ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKING RACE!!!!!!!

I am shooting DAMN NEAR 50/50 tonight.

I go out in 4th. I could have held on for 3rd. I fucked up. I “played” and should not have. I should have sat tight- after my double up the small stack had almost no chance of catching me. I won 22.5 and would have won 36.

I had A3off in the BB. Button limped. SB limped. I repopped it 3x. Immedietly I thought “if I am going to do this move with two limpers I need to do it heavier. Big stack calls- other guy folds. Flop comes 834. I continuation bet it. He reraises me. Did he limp with a pair? A8 or A4? I don’t think I believe him. I call. I should have reraised all in or folded as calling left me with less than the small stack. Turn pairs the 4. Unless he hit that 4 I think it might scare him and I go all in. Now, I know I don’t have any stackweight behind this move. He has odds to call me with NOTHING- but you need to swing I think. He had played K8. My bad luck he flopped top pair and wasn’t scared of me having a pair.

Nevertheless this was BY FAR me least UNLUCKY game in almost 2 months. And I would say that my ratio of sucksouts, races, etc… Was probably about “average”. I would also say without ANY DOUBT that my hands were BELOW average.

Anyway, first time I’ve been able to really enjoy a game. It’s too hard to be happy when your teeth are getting kicked in.

I was going to watch TV but now I am doing another!

Okay, now, a little self beating real quick here. My final hand was STUPID. After making 4th I should have done another analysis of the payouts. Everything about that hand was foolish. I could maybe kinda make an argument for the raise and the cbet. Everything else was foolish. I could have folded at that point and been fine. Dang it!

This is a second tier problem though. I played that poorly 100% *because* of my experiences this past 7 weeks. I played that way because I was overly damaged and out of practice after getting fucking plowed for no good reason immediately in almost every goddamn game. Okay, brush it off.

Okay, rock out! I was feeling a little nervous since the first hand a guy tripled up. Then, a few hands later I have JJ. I raise and two small stacks all-in with me. I almost double when they both have crap and I hit a set and river a full house! Jubilation man. Jubilation.

6 of 39 going into break. Not a bad start! I hope I can balance my elation and my ennui and play hands aggressively without being foolish (like when I went out last tourney).

I just added a rule to my “10 Rules I will Never Break” list. This was a Wannabe suggestion BTW. The rule was “I will always consider the value of each payout level once I am in the money.”

And my lead is gone and I am hurt. Why? I min raised the BB with A4suited. Hit the ace but he hit 2 pair with his ace. Shiiiit!

At least he had a better hand and did not play it wrong.

Oh but I am still full of… something. Shit! Grrr!

Jesus, same guy doubled up THE NEXT HAND with two pair again. WTF?

Okay, I am out. I push all in with 66, get called my A5off. I flop a set but the board FIVE FLUSHES but his 5 was better than the boards 3. Fuck me.

TV.

Back- doing a 3+3 deep knockout. First han TPTK tripled up… I would have quaded had I stayed…

I just STUFFED a piece of pizza in myself. I didn’t know I was so hungry, but man… I guess all that victory earlier… I joke. Its funny how invigorating that win was given how insignificant it was relative to my past couple of months. Oh well.

Anyway, chipped up 33% with top pair under kicker… actually 2 pair since the board paired… The other guy had the same pairs but his kicker was less than the board even. I would have liked to try and take more money from him, but my hand just wasn’t that strong and he had already QUADED UP (9 hands into the tourney) so he was somebody who was willing to throw a lot of volatility…

That was actually one of the only hands I’ve seen so far without an all-in. Based on this I am folding KQoff from mid with no action in front of me. I will give these guys a couple of blind rounds to cool their jets.

Yeah, this is crazy. A quarter of the field dropped in the first blind round.

I also signed up for a 180 that had almost nobody in it… It’s up to 60 now. Shit, Full Tilt fart. I drew ATs UTG and decided that I could make a little play with it- I made my raise then lost my connection. If I did anything other than scoop I’ve probably auto folded by now. Fuck that!

Okay, I got back before I auto lost. Scary too because the SB reraised me- but a min reraise. I will call it if the BB doesn’t do something stupid. He is currently disconnected and there is a status message about connectivity issues being resolved… sort of funny.

Gay. Flop was K2K with none of my suit and he bet into it. Done!

70 into the 180 now… I wonder if I will have to unregister. If it fills up this quickly into the 90 I don’t want to do it…

Ooh! Adrenaline! AQs in the BB. Mid position 4x, 2 callers. I pot size reraise- and two of them call. The pot is now bigger than my stack. I flop TPTK with 2 flush cards on the board… all in. Shockingly- they folded. Still, almost a double up!

90 knock-out went on break and 180 started while I was peeing. No hands dealt but cannot unregister. So, I will double it. And I hope “it” isn’t somebody’s chip stack.

Out of the 90. Irritated with the world about it. The guy who had tripled up first hand gave half of it back before the break. In the two hands before the break he doubled up and tripled up to be the chip leader. Then, after break, I get him into fairly big pots and flop VERY strong hands. Because of all his shenanigans I tried, both times, to push all-in expecting a call. He folded both times- coward!

Then, I flop top pair queen kicker on a board of 39A and we bet and raise and see cards and they are not scary and eventually it goes all in. Fucker had A9 for the two pair and I was crippled. I then pushed all in (against him) with KJ suited. He calls with 66. I flop four to the flush but still can’t make it pay. Done.

Meanwhile, a few early chip-ups in the 180 (never with super strong cards) have now been blinded off. I guess, given that I’ve yet to “play” I should be totally happy to be at the starting stack. I basically saw 24 hands for free.

Turning my full attention to it in 80 of 116. Pays 18 spots.

Truth is home safe from his Gay Pride Rally in SF and we got to chat a bit. He went to Bay 101 this morning and cashed in a field of 122. I am proud/jealous as has become the norm. He is going tomorrow to their Saturday tourney which has a buy-in of 200.

Okay, AS PER THE RULES, I need to own up to something awesome that just happened.

I drew AA and almost doubled up- although I made my shove at a scary moment when there was a KQof clubs on the board. He folded.

And then AA again two hands later.

The second time I had multiple callers preflop and the damn board came all suited- but of my suit. So I felt okay pushing. I doubled up and cracked a small stack. The guy who doubled me had KK of the same suits as me!

Cracked a guy with TT when he pushed all in with second pair… Sadly I was reseated from the fucking button to UTG- I thought this didn’t happen online? And proceeded to give away those winnings over two hands. Namely A9 against AQ. Where the Q held up and I doubled a small stack. How do I lose on both sides of that fucking hand?

Still, 7 of 67…

10 of 62 at break. Maybe slightly off- some tables are still playing.

I was just reading a post on 2+2 that talked about “feeling entitled to a pot where your money went in good” and I want to be clear that I do not feel entitled to those pots. What I feel entitled to is a quantity of those pots consistent with the edge I had at the decision point. It’s when I lose 4 coinflips in a row and a 5-1 that I start getting pissed and even that is mostly because I don’t think I ever win 4 coinflips then a 1-5.

Okay, massive chip hemorrhage. I guess after doubling up the guy with A9 I felt that I needed to even things out. I paid off two more guys in rapid succession dropping myself from top 10 to mid pack.

Fuck this is horrible. Another half my stack gone. I keep getting moderate strong hands in position and missing.

Now in 41 of 55. This is fucking awful and 90% my fault.

Doubled up to “not hurt so bad” with AKs against KQoff.

OMFG. I cannot begin to tell you how fucking frustrating it is to lose your fucking network connection when you are looking at a pocket pair.

But then, coming back and seeing AKs and pushing all in and getting called by AQoff and it holding up is pretty awesome. Holy shit, back to 11th!

12 of 34 with an M of 30.

So, Truth snores. And it is AMAZING when he does. I can literally feel the bass through the wall. When I snore I wake myself up. It barely almost sort of bothers me sometimes when we share a hotel room. I can’t complain because he pretty much ALWAYS has to pay… so I am a whore and whores can’t bitch about their pimp’s snoring. I’ve got horrific sleeping issues. Actually, similar to poker, one of my biggest problems is that I get to where I expect to get fucked. The only time his snoring is an issue is when I know we only have like 3 hours to sleep- so since I expect to have trouble my brain finds any issue. If we have a full night or don’t need to getup it is never an issue. I actually think it is kind of cute.

Called a min raise in the BB with QToff. Decent hand, 1 into 4… missed the flop, folded to a cbet.

13 of 30. I like this ratio. If I could play no more hands and hit 16 of 18 that would be okay.

Antes started- M reduced to 20. Lots of short stacks will be shoving now.

Dropped 20% of my stack while mantraing to stay out of trouble. Small stack- second to last place- made a move all in when I had AJ so I called expecting Ax or KQ or something… he had KK.

Not in DANGER but unlikely to fold to the money now. Will need to see some good cards.

17 of 26 going into the next break. Some tables still finishing so that might change a bit. Stack is 7,059 right now, blinds are 150/300/25 for 675 a lap. The small stacks are really clinging and I am due for some cards. Other than that AA earlier I’ve had no premium hands today (was the JJ that got cracked by 77 today? If so I guess I’ve had 3- but still in 9 hours… I am due) so I am due. Gimme gimme and let them hold up!

Small stacks are all chipping up stealing and doubling while I get dick for cards repeatedly. I had 44 UTG+2 and UTG went all in for half my stack. Other than that I’ve seen only poop!

Seriously, we are still at 26 and without putting any money out- or seeing any cards to play- I am in 20th- with less than 100 chips separating me from 23rd. Guys are doubling left and right with shit like J7off against 88. AAaaarrrgghhh! I feel so helpless!

And now blinds go up. I am not only not getting cards- but anytime I am REMOTELY in position to steal there is action ahead of me.

J6s early? Pass. Good thing too- AA went all in vs A7s. small stack doubling.

J6off next hand? Pass. Another all in AQ vs KQ. This time KQ busted somebody.

25off in the BB with raises? Nope.

48off in the SB? With an all in and a call in front? Nope. Lost somebody else though!

96off on the button? Pass. Blinds went all in too so, yay me. (QQ vs. KJ)

Rebalanced from button to hijack- so that is okay.

K3off? Folded with action in front.

19 of 21 now though. Gotta hate that.

47off? Still waiting!

QQ- here it is! Sadly, I only get the blinds. (4x raise, wanted a big stack to put me all in)

7Ts in early? Pass.

93off UTG? Nope.

Another smallstack just doubled. Grrr…

A3off in the BB. 4x from the SB. Give it up!

3Js in the SB. Nope.

A6off on the button. UTG limped- I tried to limp too. SB fucked it up for everyone. It turns into a all in challenge at after the turn- I missed everything.

Ooh, AA in hijack. 3x and scoop- FUUUCK!

J4off. Pass.

76off. Skippit.

AQoff UTG short handed. All in. And now I get callers. And from AK no less. He hits a K. I am out on the bubble.

Fuck my life.