2900 hands - tonight sucked

Ninja.

Tonight is off to a terrible start. I am so frustrated when it goes like this. I am fine with the concept of suckouts- I really am. But I’ve NEVER had something the OPPOSITE of this… and for this to be okay or normal or not fucking horrible- it needs a counterpoint.

My first hand was something of an omen. QQ in the BB- walk. First hand. Okay, free small blind- but it sucks to have opportunities taken away. Same table- 20 hands or so later I get stacked. QQ vs. AA post flop. Ooops- shit happens. Then I get stacked when a guy raises from mid and I reraise with AK. He calls. Flop gives me TPTK. He bets, I reraise, he shoves all in. The board was something like A74. So unless he raised big and called with 77, 44, or a really shitty ace- I am only scared of AA. So, one hand makes “sense” and is scary. An unlikely hand given that the other two aces are accounted for. I call- he turns over TT. The turn is a king… the river a ten. Bang- second stacking. I chopped FIVE massive pots. One we made 12 cents- the rest were break even or loses- I think they increase the rake for chopped pots.

Anyway, the only time I got my money in bad was the AA vs. QQ- everything else was me getting fucked on the river. Oh yeah, the other one was the guy who shoved into my top two pair with an open ender and hit.

Anyway, I am bummed about it all. I just did a quick look and this was pretty much my worst sitting yet- my net loss was 3 buyins. I left one table at almost 2 buyins and another at +25%. Goddamn it.

On tilt and taking a break.

Watched some Poker After Dark: The Cash Game. I am still tilty, but I don’t think its “play wrong make bad choices tilty” just “irritated with the world tilty”. Here is an interesting stat for you… I’ve had quads THREE TIMES in 2700 hands- and I am down a big blind with it.

And my second round ends almost as bad as the first in terms of tangible results and far worse emotionally.

I flopped FOUR straights- three times the turn card paired one of my straight cards. Twice that made it so that the other player hit their straight- once I paid them off for a lot- once for a little. The other time I had to fold. The time I got paid I got next to nothing. I flopped two pair twice- both times the turn put a straight or flush on the board. I paid off pocket aces AGAIN. I had aces twice and kings once and queens once or twice- I made money on one set of the aces- but I only made about 40bb because the guy was short stacked.

I had stopped writing for a while. Things were getting really bad for me emotionally and I was simultaneously getting wrecked at the tables- shit tons of suckouts. Everything I wrote was rage and frustration. I’ve been easing back in- but as you can see its going poorly. I had made a CONSCIOUS CHOICE that I would write less of that stuff- but it was probably 99% wishful thinking that I just wouldn’t feel that way. I am going to try to wrap this up without saying anything horrible… But the way I feel right now is pretty bad. Like, as bad as it gets bad. I am waffling back and forth from- nevermind. It doesn’t matter.

I when your big hands get counterfitted and sucked out on as often as mine do- and you hit them as seldom as I do I just don’t know how it can be profitable in the long term. Like, the easy example people talk about is set mining. You hit it one in ten, you make ten times your bet/call and you are good. Except- sometimes you go down set over set or to a flush or straight… Those loses are fucking huge. So how much do you really need to make on average to justify your bet/call AND compensate for the hands where you get crushed???

Anyway, I am completely fucking demoralized right now. Nothing worked tonight. My good hands got fucking bitched, my draws were shit, I ran into fucking everything… and the worst part was I started playing poorly because of it. My first session had one, maybe two hands where I did the wrong thing- and those were late after I was tilted. My second session- I don’t even fucking know. I am a big fan of keeping my decisions simple and there was no fucking possible way to keep them simple. You get into a pot cheap with 57s and flop the 468 straight- fucking radical. You bet, you get called, the turn is a fucking 7. Shit, I better shut this down- you bet again- you get called. River is a ten. Now what the fuck do you do? I will tell you- you fold when the asshole goes all in.

How often should you chop a pot? I figure I chopped 10 pots tonight. That seems like a huge number.

I am going to go read and pretend I don’t exist. Tonight I lose.

2500 hands

Ninja.

Well, I am a quarter of the way through my experiment and am… losing. Uh, if the horrible display my first 1000 hands made of themselves is truly anomalous I might pull this out yet, but this evening wasn’t encouraging. Well, I should cut myself some slack. I called an all-in preflop for a whole stack and caught Q9off with my pocket aces- and lost. Then, my last hand of the night I flopped top two pair on a flush draw board with several players in the pot. First guy makes a weak raise, I raise over him to make it a pot size call, guy behind me goes all in, big stack shoves over him all in, first guy folds. I figure one guy for top pair and the other for the flush draw. I was half right. I was up against a flush draw and bottom set. Bottom set won. This pretty much washed my other winnings for the evening.

That said, I still feel okay about how things are going. 10k hands comes a LOT faster multi tabling cash games than single tabling tournaments. Not just the 4x either- no breaks- play is faster- no waiting for the tables to start… It’s just fast.

Also of note- I am up in every .02/.05 session. Not enough of them for that to be statistically meaningful, but I’ve yet to see anything too lame on those tables. So, that is encouraging.

Am starting to have a lot of data on some players too and this is interesting. If the sharks truly do see out fish- am I being stalked? Or am I just on ripe tables? Or are they just playing so many that of course we overlap? Other than the stacking with top two pair vs. bottom set I didn’t give any large amount of money to any of them. One other medium pot- but that was all.

Anyway, bed now I guess. I plan on working tomorrow.

1k hands in

Ninja.

Tonight is one of the two poker nights so I want to talk about the cash game experiment before the live play overshadows my thoughts.

I am almost 1000 hands in- not quite- and still a loser. My loses are about 50/50 split between “omg are you kidding me” suckouts and “believing” Tracker. How is it that the guy who has played 40% of of 35 hands with a 100%aggression rating always has a hand when I play back with a moderate pair?

Harrington makes it sound like the only way to make money is by having monster hands. So you need to play for flushes and straights and mine sets. He says that you won’t get paid on your royal so you want to look for hands like 97s because nobody sees that coming. Well, at almost 1k hands in I don’t see ANY truth in this. Every monster situation I’ve had has lost. Straight to a bigger straight, straight to a flush, flush to a full house, top set to a runner runner backdoor flush, over pair to rivered set after he called every street… Its ridiculous.

I feel completely ill at ease and confused about how to play. I feel marginally better when I play for straight value- but even then the loses have been pretty strategic in their confidence undermining. My top set top kicker to the runner runner flush to the pocket aces guy really hurt- and then the next day pocket aces against middle pair T kicker where he calls a preflop raise and a raise every street to hit trips on the river… I just feel like, why bother? Meanwhile I’ve managed to be all in preflop against small stacks with pocket aces FOUR FUCKING TIMES. Hey! As I wrote this I got the guy with middle set all in against my sneaky 68 straight… and he rivered a full house. Honest to fucking goodness.

I am fairly “not pissed” at the moment- playing at the small stakes helps… But it seriously feels like I am being cheated.

The Tuesday night home game this week was my favorite (non winning) night ever. I don’t know why, but the tenor of the game was just really nice. Truth is out of town so The Cute Helpful One came to deal. We had five players- nobody was out by the end of round 3 so there was no dead stack purchase.

I took a nice lead early with a run of decent cards. Although, its one of those funny things- I didn’t have to show any of those cards so I could have held anything… Paint anyone?

I get in a big hand with top pair vs. Hollywood where he limped UTG with A3 and flopped the wheel. He, no pun intended, hollywooded like a motherfucker and got me to pay him off. Then, he took another big hand from me when he flopped the nut flush. I was glad I booked those wins early as this only put me down to about 65% of starting stack.

Then, Hollywood imploded. He doubled Sheriff up on a total bluff. He shoved all in- after Sheriff was pretty pot committed- with Q high and no meaningful draw. Then, a couple hands later, same sort of thing- but this time he CALLS all-in with A high. He left upset.

From there on out though it was just a super pleasant night… Lots of laughing and good spirits… So, with Hollywood dumping all his chips to Sheriff we had stacks something like 6k, 5k, 30k, and 5k. Table was the first person to shift into short stack aggression gear and he took about half my stack by shoving against small raises or called pots. I probably could have gone to the mat in a couple of these situations with decent odds, but I folded them. Suddenly I was ultra short stacked and Sheriff made a 4x raise that looked weak for some reason. I shoved over him hoping he would fold.

There were two problems here. First, I “misread” my stack and my reraise was utterly meaningless. He had odds to call me with 72off. Second, he had KK. So, I was next out.

Table went hyper aggressive and took small pot after small pot from Sheriff while Giggles drank beer and folded his way to the rail. No amount of aggression in heads up was going to save Table from Sheriff’s 10x+ chip lead.

Everyone went home. I was happy.

Then I decided to rock some more of my 2max cash. I am really not feeling in the zone here so I decided I would play one table ultra tight and see how that worked. I folded TPTK to a massive checkraise after the flop. I lost half my stack when I ran my straight into a bigger straight. I lost the other half when I ran my overpair into a bigger overpair.

And then I went to bed upset and demoralized.

It looks like my sleeping issues are back. For the first time in a long time I am up and puttering at 4:30 in the morning. This is unlikely to be good.

Anyway, first table, I took a big hit- don’t even remember with what… bought another 80 cents. Then got stacked. Bought back in. Then I got a nice double-up plus which helped. I decided to leave the table after I made it through my UTG hand. I had QQ. Raised, called, soft board, bet, called, turn puts a 4 straight on the board, we check, river completes the straight on the board, I check, he bets, I fold. At best we chop, at worst he has a jack and I pay him off. I still left with an extra stack but after the felting and the 80 cent add on I was still down slightly.

Certainly the suckouts and counterfeits have hurt me, but at this point I think I need to say that I’ve lost most of my money by just making shitty calls. I don’t know how to get into a headspace where I can give credit to the villain for having “that one wonky hand that crushes me”… I hope to find it though- right now I just feel stupid all the time.

So, some depressing stats…

1,006 hands
-36/100 bb

I really think it would be best if I completed my 10k at this level, but I am really tempted to move to .02/.05. A) I’ve been told again and again that it is easier to beat because there is something more like sense behind player decisions (my SNG experience reflects this) and B) and this is the big one, the values are so low at 2max that its just way to easy to make “fuck you calls”. I don’t feel like my roll is in danger so I play horrible.

You know what? I just convinced myself. I am unclicking auto-post and moving up a bracket. It puts me from “totally fine” re: bankroll management to “edgy”, but I think its right- I just don’t respect the denominations here.

Okay, maybe fuck that? Every 5max table is full with a waiting list. That, CAN’T be good. Okay, not fully true- the 9seats are all full and queued up. The 6seats had a few spots. Not sure what I think of this, but will do a buyin and see.

Okay, did a session at 5max and came out up 10/100bb which was nice… not sure how I feel about it. It did feel like a healthier game.

A Journey of 10k Hands

Ninja.

Last night was the 5k added qualifier only at Garden City. To qualify you had to place third or better during the season. I had hit a third one of the night’s Truth took me, so I was in. I prepared all weekend. I played almost exclusively 45seat SNGs because they are about the right size. I wanted my head in the right meta-game space. I crushed all weekend. I felt very good about my game going into the Garden.

All day Sunday I repeated a mantra to myself about how I’ve never caught anyone trying to bluff me. A day later I realize this isn’t really true. I’ve caught a few guys. Anyway, I was determined to just give credit to moves- play tight and aggressive- and win. I was seated to the left of a guy I’ve played with before… and caught bluffing. Then he immediately started playing every pot. He is the limp into every pot and raise like it hit guy. He scooped the first pot. Second hand I’ve got AJoff and there are a parade of limpers. I throw out a big raise- a massive overraise actually since I wasn’t used to the chip denominations and panic’d a bit. He reraises me… and goes on to almost felt me with pocket aces. Next pot limps the same way and I shove the last of my chips with AT. And he calls (after limping again) with AQ. Done. Third hand.

I had to fight down The Urge for a good hour after. It was really bad because not only is the world out to get me by giving loose weak donkey AA… But I am also A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT. At that point I really don’t see any imaginable excuse to carry on. I managed to rationalize WHY I was an idiot enough to make it through the night.

So here I am the next day. Bright new start and all that… I’ve got a little money in my bankroll and I am not in “prep for the big tourney” mode. I’ve been thinking a lot about moving to cash. I think now is the time. I am going to do 10k hands at .01/.02 and see how it feels. I plan on working this afternoon starting at 2:30 and I made this decision at 1:20. I decided I would single table for an hour just to see. Very managed- fun to look at the results.

I am 52 minutes in and it has gone well so far. But, I’ve had a couple really good hands too… We will see how it all goes.

10K HANDS HERE I COME!!!!

437 hand update

I am losing! But not by a huge amount and, as much as you can say this, its okay… I am 5 sessions in. Two sessions of two tables for an hour and a half or so and one session of one table. Two up sessions, three down sessions.

I am playing .01/.02 with a max buyin of 2 dollars. I am doing full buyins even though I am really a believer in being a “short stacker”. I’ve always liked the idea and they were certainly the guys who took the most chips from me last night- but I will stay with full buyins for now. Two of my losing sessions were big losing sessions. One I was felted twice- the other once… I am not going to beat myself up over these too much.

My first sessions I played one table for one hour exactly. It was a solid winning session for about a buck sixty. Note: They measure your winningness at cash games in “big blinds per 100 hands- written bb/100. So, first session was 54.51/100. Totally awesome and unsustainable, but a fun start.

My second and third session happened at the same time and were really bad. I took a nice lead early then got distracted by some nonsense with Truth. He joined a freeroll then was out of the room on a call. I autofolded 2 pair while handling his game and went on a bit of tilt. Also, I chased a few draws and missed ALL of them. And I had a horrible runner runner four flush suck-out to bust my top set vs. overpair. I also made a few bad calls with short stackers in the name of “seeing how things work in cash games. Add all those mistakes up- minus 3 buyins.

My fourth and fifth were profitable together but not enough to compensate for the huge 3 buyin whiff earlier. I booked another one fiftyish win and a fifty cent loss. So, after 6 .4 hours of play, five sessions, and 432 hands I am at -19.74/100. I think I can almost invert this number.

Oh! A quick story about rake…

I learned a “cool trick” in tournament play that doesn’t work often but is “zero risk”. If the board completes a broadway straight and has no flush or pair- or is four to broadway and you have the missing card but KNOW your opponent does too… Shove all in. I’ve had this startle/scare the other person into folding several times. Once I was in a three way pot when the board completed broadway and I shoved and they both folded.

So I am in a three way hand and have 10 cents in the pot. The river completes broadway on the board. I shove for about 2 bucks- they both think then call. After the rake I lost 12 cents. I lost 2 more cents than if I had simply lost the original pot.

Onward!

And the madness continues.

Full Tilt Poker $2 + $0.20 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t50/t100 Blinds - 9 players - http://www.thehandconverter.com/hands/416902
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG+1: t2170 M = 14.47
UTG+2: t5020 M = 33.47
Hero (MP1): t4875 M = 32.50
MP2: t4740 M = 31.60
CO: t4340 M = 28.93
BTN: t3980 M = 26.53
SB: t3260 M = 21.73
BB: t3875 M = 25.83
UTG: t11175 M = 74.50

Pre Flop: (t150) Hero is MP1 with Ad Ah
1 fold, UTG+1 raises to t200, UTG+2 calls t200, Hero raises to t400, 2 folds, BTN calls t400, 2 folds, UTG+1 raises to t2170 all in, 1 fold, Hero calls t1770, BTN calls t1770

Flop: (t6860) 8s Td Qd (3 players - 1 is all in)
Hero bets t1300, BTN raises to t1810 all in, Hero calls t510

Turn: (t10480) Qs (3 players - 2 are all in)

River: (t10480) Jh (3 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: t10480
UTG+1 shows Qh Ac (three of a kind, Queens)
Hero shows Ad Ah (two pair, Aces and Queens)
BTN shows As Ks (a straight, Ace high)
BTN wins t3620
BTN wins t6860

Then so much for my comeback.

Full Tilt Poker $2 + $0.20 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t120/t45 Blinds + t25 - 9 players - http://www.thehandconverter.com/hands/416916
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

MP2: t18365 M = 47.09
CO: t10855 M = 27.83
Hero (BTN): t2890 M = 7.41
SB: t5125 M = 13.14
BB: t70 M = 0.18
UTG: t9435 M = 24.19
UTG+1: t31070 M = 79.67
UTG+2: t6165 M = 15.81
MP1: t9134 M = 23.42

Pre Flop: (t390) Hero is BTN with Kd Ks
5 folds, CO calls t45, Hero raises to t720, SB calls t600, CO calls t675

Flop: (t2430) Jc 9h 8c (4 players)
SB checks, CO bets t1200, Hero raises to t2145 all in, SB folds, CO calls t945

Turn: (t6720) 7d (3 players - 1 is all in)

River: (t6720) 5h (3 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t6720
CO shows Jd 8h
Hero shows Kd Ks
BB shows Kh 9c
CO wins t6315
CO wins t405

No kidding, alt-format

Full Tilt Poker $10 + $1 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t15/t30 Blinds - 8 players - View hand 415790

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter



UTG+1: t2590 M = 57.56

MP1: t4690 M = 104.22

MP2: t4195 M = 93.22

CO: t3815 M = 84.78

BTN: t2850 M = 63.33

SB: t2295 M = 51

Hero (BB): t3000 M = 66.67

UTG: t6165 M = 137



Pre Flop: (t45) Hero is BB with 4 4

2 folds, MP1 raises to t120, 3 folds, SB calls t105, Hero calls t90



Flop: (t360) K 2 4 (3 players)

SB bets t90, Hero calls t90, MP1 raises to t540, SB folds, Hero raises to t2070, MP1 raises to t3600, Hero calls t810 all in



Turn: (t6210) K (2 players - 1 is all in)



River: (t6210) J (2 players - 1 is all in)



Final Pot: t6210

MP1 shows K J (a full house, Kings full of Jacks)

Hero shows 4 4 (a full house, Fours full of Kings)

MP1 wins t6210

No kidding...

Full Tilt Poker $10 + $1 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t15/t30 Blinds - 8 players - http://www.thehandconverter.com/hands/415790
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG+1: t2590 M = 57.56
MP1: t4690 M = 104.22
MP2: t4195 M = 93.22
CO: t3815 M = 84.78
BTN: t2850 M = 63.33
SB: t2295 M = 51
Hero (BB): t3000 M = 66.67
UTG: t6165 M = 137

Pre Flop: (t45) Hero is BB with 4d 4c
2 folds, MP1 raises to t120, 3 folds, SB calls t105, Hero calls t90

Flop: (t360) Kc 2h 4s (3 players)
SB bets t90, Hero calls t90, MP1 raises to t540, SB folds, Hero raises to t2070, MP1 raises to t3600, Hero calls t810 all in

Turn: (t6210) Kd (2 players - 1 is all in)

River: (t6210) Jh (2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t6210
MP1 shows Ks Jd (a full house, Kings full of Jacks)
Hero shows 4d 4c (a full house, Fours full of Kings)
MP1 wins t6210

What is the use?

Ninja.

I continue to run mostly bad. I actually had a “magic cards” game this past weekend and took first a 5.5, but when fate fucks you for a c-note at a time finding the occasional 20 dollar bill on the ground doesn’t really help. That same day I played two higher buy-in games. One I ran my over pair into two bigger over pairs and in the other I got sucked out on my a hand I had dominated on the river thus going out on the bubble… The win from the gimme game paid for one of those two entries.

Truth and I talk occasionally about him playing a game and me watching and us discussing hands. We did some of this early on when I was learning and we watch one another in the background still sometimes. But never fully focused… Anyway, I am really frustrated because my results are still those of a losing player and I just don’t feel like this reflects my quality of play. This isn’t a short run- this is over a long period of time. I hate being the “oh man I just get so unlucky all the time” player so even when I feel good about my game I am digging and examining and trying to find the holes. So last night we had the chance and I sat down with Truth to watch him play.

Here is what happened- in Cliff’s Notes:

AJoff UTG- fold. I might have played it, I might not have. Shrug.
Lots of folding- no real opportunities.
Getting short stacked, shove with AToff- get called my JJ, suck-out to double up.
Healthy but not strong, shove with AKoff- get called by TT, suck out to double up.
Decently strong, AA flop comes A9something, badguy has pocket 9s, full value vs. a strong stack, second in chips now.
We discuss how having a big stack might change his play. His textbook answer, “I will be a little more aggressive with position, but otherwise it won’t change much”
Two hands later he limps from early with 68s and then calls a raise then takes the pot after the flop. It wasn’t a horrible play or anything, but it was risky and loose.
It wasn’t all one sided, now he gets sucked out on, but its by a small stack- his position doesn’t change.
Long period of folding and occasional stealing with one more loose/weak limp-call from early with suited connectors. There were maybe two steal opportunities he neglected and maybe two others I would have skipped. When asked about why each decision was made he mumbled some nonsense then went with “sometimes it just feels right/wrong and I don’t know why”
Final table. Big stack to his left gives up a huge pot in a horrible play to the guy on his right.
We see AKs a couple of times. QQ three times. JJ twice. A strong double up gave him a large chip lead and then he played some nice strong poker to build a very very strong lead. I was pleased with the way he used his large stack during this phase.
He did get sucked out on again- but it was by a the big blind who did not have enough left behind to pay another big blind.
When they get down to four it is another player who knocks out 3rd and 4th so they enter heads up with about 30k to 45k in chips.
Truth talks some shit about owning the guy in heads up, but really it was just pretty standard stealing back and forth until, with roughly the starting chipstacks, they went all-in preflop with something like A8 vs K7 and Truth had the best of it.
Bang. 170 dollar win. I’ve never had a win that big online.

Key points? Sucking out twice to double up then double up again followed by aces in a set over set match to almost double up a third time.
Only get sucked out on my micro stacks.
AKs more than once, QQ three times, and JJ twice to build a monster stack at the final table.
Use your monster stack well during the second half of the final table.

Okay sezzee I, I can do this- poker is easy.

I log in on my own.

First game- KJ in late position first hand- flop trip kings- make a few chips.
JJ in mid, limpers ahead, pot raise, one guy comes with. I flop top set. He bets with connected overcards- he is three to a straight. I reraise, he calls. Turn is another undercard- gives him open ended. He bets, I reraise, he calls. River is an ace- first overcard- two hands beat me here. AA and KQ. I bets, I reraise all-in, he turns over KQ.

I shove with 88 for 5 big blinds on the button- BB calls with AT and I go out.

Second game- I earn some chips early- don’t recal how.
KQ in late. I raise, button calls with AJs. Flop comes KT5. I bet the pot, he calls. Turn is a 7. I bet about half of his stack- not quite a pot sized raise- he calls. River is a Q giving me two pair and I am only scared of AJ or a sneaky set. I shove, he calls. Oh, of course he called to the river with a gutshot…

I am left with 320 chips, blinds are 50/100. I hit AJ in the big blind. Hijack limps, SB limps, I shove. Hijack folds. SB calls and turns over AQ. Done.

I go to bed.

I feel so fucking helpless.

An interesting hand…

I draw AA for the second time this morning. First time a standard 3x from early stole the blinds… Bummer. Second time I get THREE callers.

Flop is JT4 with two clubs- I’ve got one club. Pot is now 780 and I’ve got 1200 behind and am first to act. I would love to see HUGE value here- but my position is horrible. With so many people in the pot and flush and straight draws on the board I am unsure of how to proceed. I would love to check raise, or bet weak and raise, but with THREE other players (all with good stacks) it would be very easy for people to create odds for one another. Here is a scenario:

I make a pot sized-

I need to interrupt this.

44 in the SB. UTG limps with a small stack. One other limper. I limp.
I don’t hit my set, but the next best thing. Flop is 223.
I bet to put the small stack UTG limper all in. Everyone else folds. He turns over 62.

62? Under the gun with a small stack?

Followed by raising from the button with KQ and the small stack BB goes all in- I call- he has 88- I hit a K and he hits an 8.

Guess who is the small stack now motherfuckers?

Anyway, back to the AA. I’ve lost my will for the narrative. Basically, I felt that all it took was one jackass overcalling his flush draw to create a 4 way pot with the straight draw and the guy with TPTK putting me in a position with two cards to come and half the deck killing my AA. So I shoved. No callers.

Hey! I am out. With my small stack I shoved with A2suited. I get called by A6 who flops a motherfucking full house.

I am on tilt. I close poker.

was over 200... doomswitched again

Ninja.

Just a couple of quick updates before we get back into it.

My last bank buy-in was for 100 and I quickly chopped it down to about 40. I played a 20+2 SNG9seat right away because I always wanted to try… lost… and then played a random mix of STT and MTT stuff generally doing… not well enough to be profitable. Then, I took a 3rd in a 180 and got up to 80-90ish and used it as the catalyst to get really focused. I ground my way up to about 160. It is worth noting I think that this was my SECOND 100 dollar buy-in since starting using PokerTracker and/but that I started using it while I was massively doomswitched and couldn’t hit ANYTHING EVER and whatever I did hit was counterfitted or cracked. So, 160 puts me nicely on my way to a recovery. I believe that I am “ready” to be a profitable player. It just hasn’t seemed to happen yet.

Then, another run of freaking hellish bad beats and disconnects. Not a massive six week bender like before- but three days. I chew that 160 down to about 98 or so. I am playing 5.5 SNG 9seats. I crack two second places in a row and decide that I need/want/cant resist playing another 20+2. Which I crush for first. Holy- 180 in the bank. I quickly cool my jets and move back to my 5.5 tables and wrap up a 5 game cash streak with two 3rds, two 2nds, and two 1sts. My bank is at 201.

The next day I go 3 for 5 cashes and am up to 218 or so. I think it was a 3rd and two 2nds. The 2nds happened at the same time and one was sort of interesting/fun/fucked up. We went heads up and I had him stacked by about 170 chips (15k in play) and we go all in first hand. I’ve got AJoff and he turns over QJoff. The board came KKTT9. uggg…

I run through another day with moderate results and am almost at 230.

Which brings us to tonight. I am in game 6 with no cashes yet. However, its not my goddamn fault. At a table with all starting stacks, and three missing bodies I’ve got two stacks of chips and table captain has three. We raise reraise preflop and the board comes blank blank A rainbow. I’ve got AKoff. He bets, I reraise all-in, he calls with AT… and the turn is a T. This assclown now has 7500 chips and four opponents with 1500. Then, next game, all-in preflop with AK (I reraised all-in) and I get called by FIVE FUCKING SEVEN. The board comes 5A7… I will let you figure out how it went. Oh and one was AK vs QQ. AK is not my hand tonight I guess.

Now, this may seem like a lot of hyper preflop action. Each time it was pretty early and each time I was in a position to shove. Also, each time I was a nice fat favorite except the QQ which was a coin flip. I’ve found that in the first couple of rounds of these 5.5 games a lot of fish are eager to get their chips in. They see bluffs on TV and think that is how it works or they think “lets gamble”. As you can see my equity on these moves was VERY STRONG and I believe that over time they are profitable. In terms of Sklansky Bucks I am coming out way ahead.

But man is it tough to get cracked so hard so many times in a row. Goddamn it.

And I am out again- poket pair lost to a big overpair- he had AA… oops. Honestly this was a bad call. I’d take a lot of chips of this guy earlier when he got involved with me with air and my pocket 22 and the set of 8s on the board crushed his 9 high. I called his shove to my raise because I had a good hand and figured him for “sick of my shit”.

I made a bad call at our home game the other night too. Top pair second kicker vs. the nut flush. The guy played loose and bluffy the other time he was here and went out first. I A) didn’t figure him for a massive hand and B) had bet strong enough that a flush drawing hand was a pretty shakey call. He did take a long time to make it… oh well. Just to finish the home game story- I bought our deadstack and then got caught AK against KK.

So, somewhere along the way I found the 2+2 forum and I generally believe it will be a powerful resource for transforming my game. If I were playing cash games I would swear it was the tool I needed. I am less impressed so far with the tournament sections/tutorials/faqs etc… There is a lot of “my guide to 180 seat MTT SNGs… flop a hidden straight early on to triple up, then use your large stack to bully the table through level 3. At this point you should be in the top 5 chip stacks- this is where it gets interesting….” And I am like… uh? Are you fucking dumb or insane or a fiction writer?

Anyway, there was a lot of talk about not drawing any conclusions- even soft ones- from PokerTracker until you had AT LEAST 10k hands of data. And really, you need 50k to know what is really going on with your game. Well, I should cross 10k tonight so I am pretty excited. It would, of course, be more exciting if I was doing well tonight. Sigh.

Oh man- I just went out AGAIN with AK vs a weaker hand- AJ this time. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????

I am now two full and clean first place finishes down for the night and of those EIGHT loses- two were bad calls. Two. The rest are Sklansky Buck earners.

I just reread that sentence- what I meant was “even if I clear two firsts in a row- I will still be down”.

This game isn’t going well either. I had a decent stack with the big stack to my left. He was calling or reraising EVERYTHING I did and getting away with it. My SB came with one limper and I put raised it with AQ. He calls- of course. Flop came J high so I bet it- call, turn is a blank, I bet- call, river a blank, I bet- call… He flopped two pair with J8off. I am on the ropes. This was partially bad play on my part and partially unlucky. I think. Given my night and that that I am now looking for chances to shove and 99 in the BB earned my first walk I am going AND THEN I get quads and don’t get paid… I have to go with unlucky.

And bad play. But, you can’t let people walk all over you- I just picked a bad time to push.

God my money graph looks horrid. I’ve pealed off 20% of my bankroll in a steak with no cashes. At this point half of them there is SOMETHING I can feel bad about. But, seriously, the other HALF are all fucking redickulous bullshit loses? I still really have trouble with this stuff.

And out. Final shove with AJ gets called by AA and QQ.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Man, tonight sucks so bad. AQs in the BB- a raise and a call in front so I only call- flop TT9 two flush cards not my suit- and raiser goes all in. Of course I fold- but I can’t even remember what fucking win looks like right now.

The demon is dead. Into the money. Let the healing begin.

First place. And a glorious battle it was too. I came in desperately short stacked. I went on a stealing rampage that made me- still short- but at least dangerous. The big stack was to my left so that hurt and the guy to my right would raise EVERY hand and bet EVERY flop. This is the WORST kind of player for me. I admit it was luck that did this tourney in for me. I got my money in BAD against aggressive guy. I’d reraised him all in and got the fold maybe 6 times- almost always with an ace or pair. Then I ran into a call A8 vs AJ. I hit my 8. However, given how much air he HAD TO have used to take small pots off me I didn’t feel bad. Also he was French. So that kept me in the game. Then I took a couple small wins that actually put me in the lead slightly- this was because blinds had hit 150/300 which is huge with only 15k chips. I was in the SB with KK- one of three big pairs I saw all night- others did not get paid at all… Aggressive guy bets, I reraise double that, former big stack (only a smidge under me) goes all in. This is scary because he had played really tight- but I’ve got cowboys so insta-call. He turns over 66. I won with quads. I hit quads twice tonight actually but the first time I couldn’t get paid. Anyway, heads up with Mr. Aggressive. I raised him first hand with KQ (note: I’ve got him stacked 5 to 1) and he goes all in. I snap call and he has 77. I hit two pair on the flop.

So, total stack hit tonight was: about 40 bucks. 8 full entries lost. Even with the first place finish I am down to 188 from almost 230.

Still not over 200

Ninja.

5.5 SNG 9seat

I hope its not one of those days. But if I had an eight ball it might tell me that “all signs point to yes”.

Roughly hand 7 or so… SB with A4 off.

Everyone folds, button limps, I make it 3x to go. BB folds. Button calls. Note- we are less than 10 hands in and this guy has 3x the starting stack.
Pot is 260
Flop AJ2
I bet 180. He calls.
Flop is a 3.
I bet 200- he calls.
River is a 7.
I make a small bet 125. He calls.
Turns over J2.

I recovered but the table has been tight so the blinds are huge even though my stack was “average”. Certainly in “push fold” area. It folds around to me on the button and I’ve got 99. SB has me stacked- BB is an ultra micro. I- for some reason I can’t put into words- “feel” that shoving is too heavy so I 3x it. SB calls.

Flop comes KJ6. A) I am scared he has it and B) the pot is already big and C) I “tell myself” that since somebody is all-in maybe he will check it down with me. I check, he checks, turn is a blank, but he bets 200. Maybe 1/5 of the pot. I call even though I know its wrong. River doesn’t help- he bets again and I fold. He shows down AK so I guess I am glad I didn’t shove but it crippled me pretty good.

And I go out when I flop the Q high flush but big stack had the A high. Oh well.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

I am frustrated and playing poorly. I am basically out- M = 1 after the second hand. Next round I play ultra tight. Jesus.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Hhmmm… folded through two blind levels- well, not true- couple of steals- but I did fold 77 in the BB with a 5x raise and a caller in front of me- I would have hit my set….

But, down to 2/3 the starting stack when I flopped middle pair and second nut flush draw… called some mathematically correct bets but didn’t complete and gave it up to pressure on the river.

I missed a chance to go all in with an M of 11… it was over 10 so I convinced myself not to open shove the pot with KQs. Gave it up post flop. Then I made a horrible reraise all in against the other short stack with A3s and he turned over 77 to crippled me. I had to pee and it ruined my focus.

5.5 SNG 9seat

Just a quick comment before I continue. That last table played VERY differently than my last 5 or 6 tables and I did not adjust well because I had “committed” to playing a tight game.

Anyway.

I just let myself get played. Shit.

BB with KJ off.
Button raises 3x.
I call.
Flop comes A high, two diamonds- I have a diamond but missed.
I bet out ¾- he calls.
Turn is another diamond. I now have a draw to 3rd diamond flush.
I check. Hoping he thinks I completed…
He bets the pot- I fold.
Then I notice he has played 80% of the pots and raised all of them preflop.

I reraise him all in with TT later and he folds.

I call him with T9s but somebody else shoves and I fold.

And I go out on the bubble.

I am in the 5 way with the least chips and I battle my way to a solid second and bust number 5. We are on the bubble and I am healthy as hell.

Big stack is UTG and limps.
I raise from the button with AKoff.
Flop comes K high.
He bets 400 into the 700ish pot.
I reraise all in- I don’t want to “play” with him.
He calls with KT and hits his T on the river.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Lets be clear- I am 90% to win here.

5.5 SNG 9seat

Well a nice fat lead gets destroyed when I hit top pair second kicker and second nut flush draw and four to the broadway straight. It turns into a 3 way all in (note: I’ve got them both stacked and I started the raising- so my odds are awesome). One guy had the nut flush draw and the other guy had a set of tens. I did not improve although the flush would have made me lost to the other guy.

I am the smallest stack but still big enough that nobody but the chip leader should want to pay me off. I push all in with AQoff. Second smallest stack calls. Just for shits the big stack calls too.

We turn over AQoff, A7off, and KJoff.

Second smallest stack- with A7off… hits quads.

5.5 SNG 9seat

I take a nice pot early when I flop a pair and a straight draw, turn the straight and a flush draw, and river the flush.

I open 3x on the button with Q7off and get a min repop from the BB. I call, miss the flop, and fold to a min bet.

Another call/raise everything all the time guy and I wind up heads up. I just don’t know how to deal with this- I give up a huge lead and take second.

I fucking hate myself.

5.5 SNG 9seat

I take 3rd. I am not proud. I am still down for the night and down for the weekend.

Not over 200

Ninja.

5.5 SNG 9seat

Down to 3 players and playing pretty dominant poker. Decent cards- hitting flops- betting aggressively… Then got KQoff all in against my QQ and he rivered his K. It went downhill from there finishing when 77 lost to A8.

5.5 SNG 9seat

HUGE first hand. Tried to limp along with a pack with K9s. BB raised, a couple callers, I was on the button so I went too. I hit top pair on a nicely mixed flop. Original raiser bet, he got a caller, and I just didn’t buy it. I shoved. Original raiser called, other guy folded, and my caller turned over A high.

I got sucked out for half my stack- puts me a bit over average.

I won a small pot with quad eights. Then lost a big hand to a straight flush.

Smallish stack limp called all in with A4off to chop with my AQs that flopped broadway straight.

Then, I flopped a set against this monkey and put him all in and he runner runnered a four flush.

Same motherfucker limps calls all in with KQ against my JJ and flops a king.

My last three hands- from above average to out- were all against the same guy- I had him beat every time.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Okay, legit loss. Sort of a tech failure though. BB with QToff. UTG makes a min raise INSTANTLY when the cards go out. There is NO WAY he is making a considered decision. A couple of callers. Flop comes Q high. I bet the pot and decide that if UTG guy goes over me I am calling regardless. He goes all in- I call- he has KK. Later I realized that he probably just loaded the cards faster. Oh well.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Crushed in an early hand when 77 struck gold in his set mine.

Eventually back to average after a nice double up that didn’t even involve showing down because so many people were involved and folded to my shove.

Out, and I deserved it. M of 10. 3x raise from the hijack. I shoved with KQ on the button. He called with AKs.

Fuck this is upsetting.

5.5 SNG 9seat

If I don’t crush this I am done. I called a smaller stack all in preflop with AQ- he had AK. I hit trip queens and he straighted. I am crippled in chips and ready to freak the fuck out.

Busted in the middle of the pack. I won a couple of races in a row and then lost one.

The blinds had gotten HUGE so… shrug.

I can’t stop now but am dropping a level.

2.25 SNG 9 seat

KK, reraised a reraise preflop. Guy called. Raised the flop. Guy called. Raised the turn. Guy called. River completed a flush- guy made a min bet- I called… he was drawing to the flush.

KK again against the same guy. Reraise preflop- call. Innocuous flop- with a 7. He bets, I reraise- he calls. Turn is a blank- he bets- I reraise all-in- he calls. Turns over Q7. And rivers his 7. No fucking shit.

Dropping down a level sucks my ass.

THIS IS SO FUCKED UP!

I went back to 5.5 and took a first. It puts me back to only a couple bucks down. Sigh. If not for the suckouts I’d have cleared two hundred today..

Out.

They do- they abound

Ninja.

Finally got to log in and missed a 5.50 45seat by a second or so. It was at 44 when I opened the lobby… Oh well.

5.5 SNG 9seat

BB AQoff
UTG limps
Highjack limps
SB folds
I make it 4x.
UTG calls other guy folds

Flop comes 422.
I fire a pot sized continuation bet
He calls
Turn is a J
I check
He checks
River is a 3
I check
He makes a small bet
I call
He turns over 53off.

Jesus what a horrible game.

After that hit I proceed to fold for 20 minutes or so. The donkey who hurt me goes all in about every other hand until he is busted.

I get a free flop in the BB with T2off. Flop comes 89J.
SB checks, I push all in with my open ended
He snap calls with TQ.

Oops.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

It is going to be one of those days.

First hand of the next game I am in the BB (again?) with AJoff.
UTG makes it 3.5x
Button calls
SB calls
I call
Flop comes 344
It checks around
Turn is a K
It checks around
River is some other thing
SB checks, I check, original raiser checks, button bets
SB reraises
I fold
Original raiser folds
Button rereraises all in
SB calls and turns over 94off for a set of fours and a knock out.

He called a raised multi-way pot with 94off.

And I am out because I pushed with TT and AKs hit his ace.

It *IS* one of those days.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Lost chips first hand when I raised with KQ- was reraised the min- called- missed the flop- gave it up.

Raised with AJoff- scoop.

AQs in the BB- three limpers
Pot raise
Two callers
Flop came two of my suit
Pot raise- scoop

KJs in the SB
3x raise from late
I call
Flop has two of my suit and the ace
I check raise all in
He calls
I hit my flush to beat his pair

55 in mid
Small raise in front
I call along with several others
I flop the set
I check
Guy makes a small bet
I call
Turn is a blank
He checks
I min bet
He calls
River gives me quads
He checks
I bet
He folds

Still nice.

Anyway, quick break for some poker math. Lets recall my TT vs. AKs hand a minute ago.

I am trying to think more consciously about EV. Here is how you calculate it in the case of a CALLED shove. Before the call your EV will always be higher because your opponent could fold.

AMOUNT YOU WIN IF CALLED AND YOU WIN
Multiplied by
YOUR PERCENT TO WIN
Minus
HOW MUCH YOU LOSE IF CALLED AND YOU LOSE

So, in that case we had 120, 120, and 30 in dead money. He raised and I shoved for 1380. He calls 1380. Total pot is 3030.

In a match of TT vs AKs with no suit blockage- we have 53% for the TT.

So, (3030*.53)-1380=+226

So, if I make that move and get called over and over I will make 226 profit on average.

Meanwhile, I flopped a gut shot and an overpair and made a continuation bet that got called. I turned top pair and pushed the caller all in. He turned over the straight that my top pair gave him. Oops.

Then, I busted a guy who I put all in and who called me with A high. I had TPTK.

Pot raise from UTG+1 with AKs. Scoop.

JJ in UTG
Pot raise again
One caller
Two callers
Flop comes
A high. I continuation bet.
One fold, one shove.
The shove is for another 20% of the pot maybe so I have to call.
He has the A

Let’s run our EV calc on that call.

720 970 540 in the pot… 2230. 430 to call (not bad 20% estimate).

So I win- wait, does my call count as part of the winning? Shit. I need to redo the other one I think…

Oh! The other one isn’t a call.

Let’s assume my calling money does not count as a win.

Post flop I am 9% to win.

(2230*.09)-430= -230.

Knowing he had the A it was a bad call. I didn’t KNOW but even if we add in a fudge factor it was a bad call.

Fucking jacks.

Well shit- now I am wondering about the TT hand again. Even though I was the shover… does my shove count as winnings? I think it does because the call comes AFTER it goes into the pot. I am risking it PRECALL and then it isn’t mine.

Okay, I am still unclear so I am going to run it without my shove. Although there will be some fudge since I didn’t get the details.

And I am crippled in my game. It’s been a clusterfuck. Even those nice chip ups were gay.

I made a decent raise preflop from the SB with AJ. BB calls- dickhole who cracked my jacks.

Oh wait- sidebar- a few hands later he did the same thing I did with his jacks. Bet them, got called by a shitty ace. Ace high flop-continuation bet- ace goes all in- and he calls. Unlike me- he four flushed to win.

Anyway, guy calls my AJ bet. Flop is K high rag. I continuation bet- firmly. He calls.

Turn is a T. I check. He checks.

River is an 8.

I bet- he calls.

Turns over T9o.

He called the preflop raise and the continuation bet with nothing.

We are on the bubble and the stacks are:
5410- donkey suckhole
3600
3300
750- me

Anyway, back to our TT hand.

I believe the pot, before I shoved, was probably about 800 less.

So (2230*.53)-1380=is-198

That cannot be right. A) I am the favorite to win and B) the pot has dead money.

Okay, I got it. You can’t have it both ways- in a good way. I was subtracting my whole stack- not including what was out there preshove.

Should be (2230*.53)-880=+301

I double up stealing then double up when my ATo shove gets called by A6s and holds.

Then I bust somebody.

In the money and healthy.

Hell yeah.

I bet 99 and get called by DSH. Flop comes 8JK and I give it up.

Made it to heads up but lost. He had a pretty big stack relative to mine but honestly the problem was I didn’t know how to deal with him. He played like The Big Loud Dumb One. Let’s model a player and discuss.

Calls almost any bet preflop regardless of position.
Bets at any pot without position- calls any shy of all-in (almost)- without position.

I tried to talk to TBLDO about this, but every word out of his mouth was nonsense. He used sentences like, “well, if I am holding an 8, or if there is an 8 on the board… I will always bet.” I… I don’t even know where to go with that.

5.5 SNG 45seat

First hand I played went well. Somebody was busted down to 450. I still had my full 1500 and was dealt JJ. One caller. I shove. Caller calls my shove.

We turn over K2s, JJ, and 44. I took it down for a nice double-up+

I am going to explain fold equity as it applies to hand equity. Not because I think you need to know, but because I want to harness the math and assimilate it. As it stands I understand it academically and intuitively, but the math part isn’t built into my game. It’s a case where I need to think through it long hand which isn’t practical so I fake it. I don’t want to fake it.

Hand equity we used a minute ago talking about percent to win in various hands. Obviously you do a lot of guesswork here since you don’t know what your opponent is holding. Although, there are some RADICAL (and I mean awesome not avant gaurde) ways to think about this too…. Sorry, ahem… Uh- equity… Here we are just talking about chance to win the hand vs. hand showdown.

So, we will use AKs vs. JJ where the jack shares a suit since I just used this hand in an example to TBLDO.

AKs – 46%
JJ – 54%

Note: 2 of 32 after last hand.

AKs is debating a shove, but figures the JJ for a strong pair so he knows his actual hand (roughly).

Now, if he shoves JJ should put him on a big hand. Overpair, big suited connector… something. So, he will figure himself for a coin flip at best. Nobody likes to gamble their tournament on a coin flip so AKs assigns JJ a probability of folding at 50%

The way we modify our hand equity is by multiplying the fold percent by HIS win percent.

So, .50*.54= .26

This means that by shoving AKs will take this pot 74% of the time.

Now those numbers are really easy to deal with so let’s spice it up and try it again.

AJoff vs. KQs with the ace sharing a suit. AFTER a flop with undercards and 2 flush cards.

Side note: For all of my bitching about Gus’ book and his playstyle… I’ve definitely adopted the “shove for max pressure” when I think I’ve got the cards- but want to shut the pot down and have the stack.

AJoff – 52%
KQs – 48%

Wow, that is close.

KQ puts out a bet that “tells” AJ that he is on the flush draw.

Side note: There may be no greater feeling in poker than busted the guy who limped with AA. Saw a free flop with K5off. Flopped a set. Put me in 2 of 22.

Side note: Shipped those chips to somebody else when his pocket pair beat my second pair.

So, knowing this guy is on the draw- but knowing he isn’t on the nut draw- we figure he is eager for a chance to nail the flush and take a big pot- but at least a little nervous about a better flush. We know he isn’t too nervous- but still.

Conservatively we assign a 20% fold value.

WAIT!!!!

Sorry, The Cute Helpful One dropped off dinner for me and I was busted while she was here. With a decent stack (everyone is shortstacked but like the top two guys) in mid field I call a shove with 99. The guy has me stacked by like 100 chips. He turns over 8Ts and rivered his flush to bust me.

I left this up thinking I would come back to it, but alas I never made it. Truth made me play video games and then I made him watch WSOP 23 and 24. Or 24 and 25? While watching something embarrassing happened. I am totally mortified. When Darvin called Kopp’s all-in I let on a full fledged guy-watching-sports cheer. OMG, I am one of Them.

Anyway, so I tried to go to bed “early” at about 1:45… I typically read for a while, but I still figure I was asleep 2 or 4 hours before normal. It wasn’t light out. But then I woke up at 8 and couldn’t turn my brain off. We will see how today goes.

MEANWHILE, I hit up a 5.5 SNG 9 and am at almost quadruple the starting stack with only two people out! I busted a guy with AA early on- he was a knucklehead calling raises and then pushing all in with 22. Then, I busted the other bigstack with QQ when he pushed all-in with… two over cards. So, yay me!

Okay, so, fold value… I am going to wrap this up weakly because my brain isn’t “in it” anymore.

Actually, my brain might not have been in it last night since I was trying to create a situation where my “seed” was the other guy’s cards not the player’s cards. I think I am going to leave you hanging for now. I will revisit this for sure though because it is heavily on my mind as my next “big step” in my development.

JJ got cracked by AA. I am second in chips now.

Somebody goes out and we are on the bubble with one super short stack.

Small stack doubled, stole the blinds, then reraised my steal (I raised 3x on the button with A8 and he shoved for half my stack) and is now healthy.

I all a 3x with KQ and hit top pair and take a decent pot from the chip leader- I am in first again. He gets a couple good steals in and takes it back.

And I become the short stack. My QQ gets a walk, I raise the small stack with AKoff, he shoves, I call, he as QQ and they hold.

Bubble burst and on the first hand post bubble I double up thought the big stack with KK to level the field.

Blinds are huge though so it will be very volatile.

My A6s sucks out on A7off and we are two and I have the chips.

I get busted BY ANOTHER SUCKOUT FUCK and take second. All in preflop A9s vs. QTs and he rivers- on the river- the straight to beat my flopped top pair.

suckouts abound

Ninja.

I played a SNG 9 seat this evenin. It felt nice. While I was playing our buddy Utah called to make sure I was home so he could swing by and get something. The Big Loud Dumb One was also home. Utah lives out of state so its always exciting when he comes around.

Utah oohed and aahed appropriately over our new poker table and made some comments about how we should play a 3 handed game. I was already in my SNG so I stalled- I was prepared to do both at once if I had to! While we were all visiting Truth came home. Suddenly it was game on.

Meanwhile I was heads up so I said I was in.

They counted out chips and I wrapped up a first place in the SNG. Nice!

We sat down and things immediately went to shit for me. Very passive loose table and I had mediocre cards that seemed to always hit softly while somebody else hit hard. So if I raised I got called and missed. If I limped they let me limp and I’d catch a small piece and pay off somebody with a bigger piece. Now, I’d like to be clear- I was playing poorly- I could have escaped all these hands or just not played them. But it still gets old to raise with ATs and get called by K4off and lose when he hits his 4…

Finally a pair of 9s in a hand vs. Truth. Mostly I was looking for a chance to get my chips in and I figured he smelled blood in the water and would take any shot to put me out. He raised with TT, I reraised, he put me all in, I snap called- he turned over TT. Fuck me. I rivered a straight and doubled up to 60% of the starting stack. A couple hands later Truth “trapped” The Big Loud Dumb One with TP, but TBLDO had an overpair. Truth was crippled and didn’t make it back and he went out a bit later.

I hung on the ropes for a while and then TBLDO knocked out Utah with a MASSIVE chip disadvantage. I raised with a suited Ace and he called with Q8off. Flop came K24 I was basically pot committed (I did not think he would call preflop- I should have just shoved) and so when he bet I went all in- and lost.

Anyway, at another SNG 9seat now and was in a decent lead with a couple people out. I raised from early with JJ and got a caller. Then a smallish stack- about 2/7 of mine pushed all in. I shoved for protection- caller folded. Small stack turned over KK and put me into average stack mode.

That brings us current.

I made a move in late with 54s and got called and, god damn my eyes, caught a shitty piece of the flop. I couldn’t bring myself to fold to his small continuation bet. Turn brought another scare card and I had to give it up to a half pot bet. Now I am not quite the small stack.

Somebody busted and I am now the small stack. QToff on the button- shove and scoop. QQ in mid- shove- scoop.

Another bust and we are on the bubble. I am the small stack with about an M of about 8.

Lets be very clear about something though- I *own* this phase.

Flush vs. top pair- doubled up- not the short stack anymore.

And I am out on the bubble. Let’s review the hand.

KK in the SB-
Chip leader in the BB
3x raise- he calls
Flop is 34Q rainbow
I raise, he reraises, I go all in- he calls
He turns over 54off.

And turns another 4.

Owning a phase of the game doesn’t prevent donkey fuck suckouts.

Double your bankroll- or not.

Ninja.

Been a little quiet. Actually, a lot has happened. Not entirely sure even where to start honestly.

A few weeks of home games… There are four scenarios that we’ve seen play out. Either I catch no breaks, I catch no cards, I get sucked out on, or I play poorly- or some combination. And really the time I felt really bad about playing poorly I pushed all in preflop with TT with 60% of my starting stack for a 20x or so reraise and was called by AK or AQ- don’t remember which. Basically the home games have been terrible for a few weeks. I don’t remember if I wrote about the night paint made a shitty call preflop to a fucking reraise, a shitty call on the flop with nothing, a shitty call on the turn with a gutshot, and then crippled me when his J4 off runner runner straighted to 2-6 flush and beat my set of aces…

I mention that because today he said he did a 5 way chop at Bay 101 Saturday in a tourney where the buy-in was 500. Even writing that sentence almost has me in tears. He is not a loose aggressive player. He is a reckless luckbox and I fucking HATE to know that I am putting in as much time and effort into building this skill- and guys like that are getting paid regularly. I fucking hate it. I also hate that 7k would represent a massive life changing windfall for me- and once that was a only slightly more than a weekly paycheck.

How did this happen to my life?

Somewhere in there I cashed at Garden City one night- that was cool. Then I went out on the final table bubble and Truth went out just before the money bubble. Haven’t been back… Truth bought a PS3 and it has been “the new thing”. Although, the poker table was delivered tonight- that is pretty cool.

I took 3rd in a 180 a short while back. This mostly repaired the damage I’d done to my bankroll and then I’ve been pushing the 5.50 9 seats. I am up a solid 30% for this buy in. When I logged in just now and started this game I was grumbling that I wasn’t going to move until I’d doubled my roll. I am sure I won’t try to stick to that. Its 4am and I am tired and COMPLETELY AWARE of how horrible a framework that is.

Tonight I played okay- not great- not bad. I made a great call when Sheriff tried to bluff me on a big pot. I made a shaky laydown that everyone was impressed with when Tables bluffed at a pot (I had the better hand but he pushed all in and I had 19 outs with two streets and exactly 2-1 odds. And… that was about it. I made a few small call-folds and limp folds. And then called all-in with 9Ts with an M of about 4. Other guy had A8off.

The thing is- if I hadn’t played those limp hands I would have had three playable hands all night. I had AK, AJ, and KK. Other than that I had 66 once and then either BLO hands or very small suited connector or middle connectors. I swear I folded 6 rounds without a hand better than 96off.

I get so excited about poker and I look forward to the home game so much that if I don’t get cards or if I play poorly it feels like a sneeze that doesn’t happen. Or sex that is interrupted before climax. I feel unfulfilled, hollow, and itchy all at once. I almost always bounce online right away to keep playing. I then won two or three hands and then folded until LEVEL FUCKING NINE in a 9 seat.

Heh- first place. Bank is up almost 50%. Maybe I will double it?

I just did a little Poker Tracker browsing… It was interesting. The only two table positions I am negative for are the BB and the SB. The others are in a goofy order- but it’s interesting. Also, I am profitable for two pair and up now- although that happened a while ago.

And then a third. Two for two!

Uh… and a second. Three for three.

I got CRUSHED with 8 players left when my overpair (TT) lost to trip sevens. I was down to 20 chips and managed to cling and linger and get up to 700 chips and back to 40 and up to 500… The blinds were 100/200 when I went out ON THE BUBBLE. I actually almost made it in. Big stack reraised somebody all-in on a bluff with 57off. Smaller stack called with AK. Flop had a 7 but the river was a K. Dang it all!

Anyway, okay, I will stop here.

Not a terrible day.

Ninja.

WARNING: This is a two day post since I never got around to posting it yesterday… I was really defeated feeling.

Well, first tourney of the day is done and I am awesomely on my way to continuing my record. I signed up for the daily dollar. I went out before I paid a blind- so I guess that is good? Max value for my money… I was dealt JJ UTG. 4x raise. UTG+1 calls with 77 and hit his hidden set to crack my overpair on a “safe” board.

A lot of the reading I’ve done lately would bitch me out for being willing to go all-in with less than 2 pair. I talked about this in Co. too. But then last night I was dragged through the mud about not calling an all-in reraise when I had top pair and a good kicker with a board that looked harmless.

Honestly, I don’t feel like these questions are that hard to answer “correctly” I just think I’ve got the worst fucking luck ever. Last night I was doing some tracker analysis with Truth and a few key facts stick out in my mind. He has about 3x the data I do- I’ve only just started collecting again- and we found a lot of places where our ratios matched pretty well. Anything close and I just figure it’s standard deviation stuff. But, here were some interesting ones.

Two pair is a losing hand for me- by a lot. I am not profitable until I hit a set. He is profitable at two pair.

We had roughly equivalent sets and flushes (how many of them we hit), but the percentage of his hands that turned into full houses was 10x mine. .06 to .6 and his ratio of straights was almost as far above mine. Remember, this is the guy who had AA hold up 8 times in Co. to my drawing it once- ever.

How do I reconcile that? The data sample isn’t huge yet- but my hands have been NOTICABLY BETTER since I started using tracker. And its not just a feeling- I wasn’t using the database, but I was recording a fuck-ton of hands. I went out of my way to record ANYTHING like me getting lucky.

Just a quick update on my day so far… I’ve played 3 hands. JJ, cracked by 77. AK, folded to massive reraise (turned out to be kings), and TT, flop had a J and KJ took the hand.

Let’s add AJoff to the mix- 4x raise was called. Missed the flop and it had K in it- folded to a continuation bet from the BB caller. And, now fucked from AK, TT, and AJ all losing me money- I push all in with A7s and get called by K9off who hits 2 pair.

Truth is in a 26 dollar buy-in tourney. I am jealous. He has already added another full house to his stack. I joined a deep stack 2.25 3600… We will see how big it gets.

Okay, reg is closed- 581 players. 40 out. I’ve been reseated 5 times and played zero hands.

Just watched a 4 way all-in. 99, AK, 77, and AJ. 99 won. There is also a guy at my table with 13,335 chips. We started at 300. I haven’t played a hand yet. 442 left.

I basically doubled up by accident just now.

QJ in the small blind.
Many limpers.
I limped too.
Hit top pair but there were two flush cards.
First to act so I put out a put sized pet.
It folded to the button- who called.
Turn was harmless- so I bet a little more than half the pot- keeping the pressure up if he was drawing.
He called.
River was harmless but since he limped he could easily have middle two pair or something.
I check.
He bets about the pot- half my stack.
I had already decided I would call any bet lower than all-in.
I went to call and MISSED THE FUCKING BUTTON and reraised all-in.
He called with middle pair.

People are fucking dumb. Why am I not profitable?

After 107 hands I had my best hole cards of the game. 99. I’d seen a couple of smaller pairs and AKoff a couple of times. Never AQ, never AJ… ATs at least once. I was even on the button for this hand. There was a limper and then the hijack- a frequent raiser raised 3x. I called. Flop cam 78T of a suit that matched one of my nines. Frequent raiser bets- I call. Turn pairs the board. Frequent raiser goes all in. I try to convey this to Truth- cowardishly and foolishly looking for support or guidance- but he didn’t listen. I had a strong hand an more outs than I could quickly count. I called. He turned over QQ and the river was a blank. Game over.

While sitting here I watched Truth get KK twice JJ once AQ suited twice AQ not suited at least once and AK at least twice... a full house… Not sure what else- honestly I wasn’t paying much attention.

He was right. I’m not special.

I don’t even have the sense of self to tell the world to fuck off.

5+5 SNG 9

Within the first couple of hands I had 66 in the SB. One limper. I limped and god bless I hit my set. Top set no less. There WAS a flush draw out there. I decided I would risk not betting it and just watch for that third flush card. They both checked. Turn gave me goddamn quads. I checked, they both checked, mother fuckers. River is a 7. I make a min bet. One guy folds, other guy calls. I make 5 big blinds.

The guy who paid me the extra 30 chips calls a decent preflop raise by me in position a couple hands later. I am holding AJ. Flop comes something like 8TK. Gut shot and an over only. He checks, I decide I should check to switch it up- maybe this was wrong. Turn is another king. Not putting in money now! He checks, I check. River is another fucking king. I feel reasonable about my ace now- provided he doesn’t now have quads. He checks, I check, and his 88 wins.

So, quads and an AJ later I am up 2 big blinds.

Trapped myself a bit by hitting a pair and a flush draw (sound familiar?) when my continuation bet met a reraise and I felt I was committed. Lots of outs too. So I call- I do not complete- two pair wins it… for the other guy.

I continued as a desperate small stack until 5Ts called my all in with A4s (same suit) and he hit… guess… wait for it… guess… 2 pair.

NEXT!

Okay, going back to 2.25. Regardless of my concerns about player quality my bank is now chopped in half since I started. I’ve had nothing resembling profitable play in weeks… I might as well throw away my money slower.

Funny, true, sad, pathetic story. Pocket sixes. 8 high board. River completes a flush (3 cards) and pairs the board- two fours. My opponent made a small bet that I feel I could reasonably call based on my second pair hidden status… I folded because the 44s. Since I am almost 100% negative for 2 pair.

Note: I know this is wrong. I no longer believe it matters.

DAY TWO

I am signed up for a 5+5 SNG 45. It needs another 20 or so people so I’ve got some time. Let’s hit some updates.

It should be clear to anyone reading this that I am frustrated and having a hard time. Mostly, I am in a near panic and hopeless feeling state because I don’t know how to change or where to turn. I *feel* as though I am on an extreme- or perhaps even improbable- edge of the standard deviation. Lately I’ve been trying to actually get some science to back up my “sense” of what the range of probability should be and for how long. My Poker Tracker is up to 2131 hands. The folks on 2+2 ask you to not even post unless you have 10k+. I’ve heard you need 10k, 25k, and 100k from different sources. So, I’ve got no problem saying that the 2k of death cards is statistically insignificant. At the same time, I was coming off 5 weeks of hell when I bought Poker Tracker to set my mind at ease. I had to wonder “am I really just discounting all the times my cards hold up?” But I estimate that 5 week binge at about 15k hands. It’s not “real data” the way the 2k in Poker Tracker are… But emotionally I am nearing a 20k streak of comically bad hands. It is going to be very tough to put the right foot forward for 10k+ more hands if things don’t change.

Anyway, regardless of the cards, I know I am not “the best poker player I can be” and to A) be duly diligent and B) do something else to stem tide I’ve been trying to dig into the theory and science more. Hence, lots of reading.

Played my first hand. Raised into a small stack with position. I had AJoff. He went all in with K6off. Guess who won?

Seriously, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I stole a much limped into pot from the BB. Then we went on break.

So, I feel that I am getting bad beat, cold cards, and missing flops at a rate that is inconsistent with the norm. I recognize and acknowledge that over time my results should trend towards the norm. The frustration I have is that I feel like, and again we are talking feelings- which I am addressing now with tracker, my results are not converging. Will they converge eventually? I can’t argue that they won’t, but my concern is that if that happens too far in the future I will have come to ruin before then.

Truth is little help in this. He sometimes throws out a “oh dude that sucks” hang 1- JJ in the SB…

Okay JJ holds up to A6off and I knock out the guy who doubled through me a minute ago. This is how the cards should play, but when he calls and I see A6off I immediately feel like I am fucked. Sad.

Anyway, Truth. Other than that his attitude is very much “the cards are the cards- you need to play better.” He will sometimes say things that can be interpreted as, “it will even out over time” but there is no sensitivity to how consistent or for how long it has been like this. So, with Truth being (probably) tired of listening to me cry and also not being a help- I turned to “teh internetz” where I found the 2+2 forum.

So far I am impressed. It seems well managed- good signal to noise ratio- the people seem to know what they are talking about- and, most important to me right now, it is chock full of hard core math discussing standard deviation and EV and more.

Blinds at 25/50, in the BB with AToff, I called a 3x from mid. We checked to the river, I never connected, and I folded to his bet. I probably could have stabbed at it at some point, but I just “felt” like he was hoping to reraise me.

I was actually a bit (was? Am!) intimidated by this forum. Lots of jargon and acronyms I don’t know and lots of math and everyone seems to be a winning-over-time player. So I wanted to take the humble approach and do the legwork before I started asking for help. Reading the beginner FAQ and all the recommended threads…

Tried a slightly more than min raise from mid with 44. THREE freaking callers. Board came JQQT5. With two players behind and one in front- clearly I let this go.

And with those failed moves I am back down to roughly the starting stack. There is a very aggressive guy at my table taking a lot of pots. I want to do something about it but my cards are ranging from poop to speculative. I read an article through Full Tilt recently from one of their pros. It was precisely for how to deal with this. Something like “How To Deal With An Aggressive Big Stack Bully.” Don’t bother looking it up- I will synopsize for you: Reraise him with KToff, flop a full house, reraise every street to the river, go all in, and have him call you with nothing. Simple right? Gee thanks Full Tilt Pro I’ve never heard of!

I am in 14 of 23 with the starting stack- which is half the average. M is 10. Small stacks starting to make their moves.

And I am crippled the hand after I write that. I fucking hate the blinds.

BB, T7off
Five limpers.
Flop is paired and gives me open ended.
Not something I feel good acting first of six into so I check
Last to act bets half the pot. I’ve got outs to call that and tons of implied equity if it doesn’t get reraised so I call.
One guy folds- everyone else calls. Five people now.
Turn pairs my 7.
Still, second pair, paired board, lots of people saying maybe they have a hand, so I check.
It checks around.
River is a blank- even with odds I don’t know why I chase hands. By all means check my tracker- if I am not at 10% or less of the hit rate I’ll suck somebody’s dick on the internet.
I check, guy behind me makes a bet- half the pot- everyone folds. It is a very tempting pot for somebody to try and grab… I have a hand… I call it.
He flopped the full house.

I push all in with 88, same guy calls with 66. Rivers his 6. Game over.

Signed up for another.

Anyway, so doing all the pre-reading to make sure I don’t look dumb on this forum. One of the subjects in the FAQ was “should I move up to a level where people respect my raises” to which the answer was “hell no, if you can’t beat bad players you can’t beat good ones!” which is fine. It went on to say “if this is your problem read the How To Beat Players Who Don’T Fold” article. Also, fine. So I read it. What did it say? Value bet with the best hand. Uhm… Again, I know I am at 15k soft hands and 2k real hands but… two fucking pair is a LOSER over time for me. What the fuck do you guys think I am doing that is leading to my losing? Do you imagine I am bluffing? I am a fucking rock- sort of… I am losing because I am seeing FAR FEWER good cards that hit flops than I should and getting sucked out on WAY more than I should.

Let’s do a quick review of that last game.

AJoff to K6off, I am 64% to win, I lose
JJ to A6off, I am 71% to win, I win
T7 on the 899 board… I was 44% to hit something that made me feel good- I did not.
88 vs 66, I am 80% to win, I lose

My stealing of the blinds was a bluff. I had no other reasonable (according to Harrington) opportunities to do anything. I don’t see anything here other than shitty luck- am I missing something?

Anyway, next match is going.

Okay, seriously, this is not a joke.

First hand I have AKoff- I win a decent pot of about 600 chips when my raise gets called but my cbet does not.

A while later…

44 early. UTG limps. I limp- more people limp.
Flop is 4AA.
Checks to me, I bet the pot
Guy behind me calls- I know he has an ace.
Everyone else folds.
Turn is a Q
Did he limp with AQ?
I bet the pot
He reraises me all in
I call
He turns over A5.

River is a 5.

THE RIVER WAS A FIVE.

84.5% to win.

Thanks.

Next.

But seriously, I feel like I am going to puke. It is like this every day.

Truth tries to argue that looking at tournament ending hands is a bad thing to look at since it is preselected as losing hands- sec

Two hands. Another god damned mother fucking open ended draw with the odds to call that did not hit. Followed by 44 (hhhmmm) that my limp was countered wit ha raise and a reraise.

Okay, so Truth- preselected hands. He also says that they are bad to look at since I was more likely to get called. But in the vast majority- and by vast I mean 80% of the hands- I would WANT the call. I *intentionally* am in a position for all my chips with the best hand and am losing.

Several limpers into my SB. I’ve got A4 so I make a push to steal. BB calls, all the limpers call, and the button limper goes all in. Well, A4 isn’t up for that so I fold. A middle position limper called. They turn over JT and KQ. Flop is 7AA. Anyway- original raiser gets fucked- awesome.

Then, I make a steal move with KT. I get a caller. Flop is Q high. We both check. Turn is a K. I bet the pot. He calls. River is an ace. He makes a min bet- 10% of the pot. I call. He turns over AQ. He didn’t bet his top pair top kicker until an overcard- which I fucking hit- lands. Then he fucking calls me and gets his four outer on the goddamn river?

So now I am all-in UTG with KQ. Same guy calls. He has AJsuited. We chop when the board straights. Note: This is the same guy who called the all-in with JT to win.

God my head hurts.

I won with 2 pair. Go me. All-in UTG with KJoff. M is like 4, we are missing a player or two… A6off calls me. I flop 2 pair. He hits NOTHING. *I’m back baby!*

(just in case its not clear- that is sarcasm and humor!)

Still pretty much just looking for a place to put all my chips in sadly.

Won another race! Maybe it is real!

A8off vs 33. I feel a little bad for the guy too. He had just doubled up against a loose aggressive big stack. He was mid position- there were limpers- he makes a min raise… giving them the fold button I suppose. I push all in with my A8. Everyone folds- (SQUEEZE!) and then he calls off half his stack with 33. I actually won by 4 straighting to the ace. But even knowing he had 33 with the limpers in the pot I think I’d be happy to take that hand on… not sure- but why would he put in half his chips like that? What does he think I have? Other than 22 or the WORST 20 hands in poker it is a race at best.

Then, full value from AA- that was nice. The guy got me tit for tat though with AA the next hand against my AT. But he was seriously short stacked and I won a sidepot that had me coming out even anyone.

Anyway, all said and done I am in 5 of 23. NO SUCKOUTS PLEASE!

(unless they are in my favor- I am due some)

Okay, ready?

Loose aggressive guy that I’ve traded blows with is now short stacked (thanks to me hitting my AA first) and he makes a min bet from late. I am in the BB with 8Tsuited. I call and flop 2 pair. Awesome. I know he has no options left- but he COULD fold now and keep being short stacked. I check and he, as expected, bets, and I put him all in. He turns over A5. He has nothing. Turn is a 5. River is a 5.

I was 92.5% to win here btw.

I am really struggling to keep my cool and bet appropriately.

And for a double kick in the nuts- after being knocked to 13 of 16… we go on break. Motherfucker.

RUNNER MOTHERFUCKING RUNNER MAN.

TOP TWO PAIR AGAINST “an over card”

Goddamn it man. That fucking bullshit hand is going to put me out of the fucking tournament. After the break the blinds are so high that it took me from solidly in the front of the field to “look for a place to shove” mode. Even though he was short stacked.

Hey, I got a suckout! Although, it was on somebody who deserved it. Guy limped with TT. I limped in the SB with A6. Flopped TPTK (low board) and pushed. He calls, of course, with his over pair and I hit an ace for two pair… oh! Holy! I won with two pair too! Heh! Anyway, serves him right for not raising preflop. I might have shoved then too given my stack, but still.

The Big Dumb Loud One just came home from drinking- he has a friend (a dude) with him. So my plan to move to poker on TV after this is probably shot.

Man, this is the worst table situation EVER. Short handed- until final table. Guy to my left is the chip leader- guy to his left is a smallstack ready to shove. So, every round is FAST and EXPENSIVE and I can only play premium hands.

Rebalanced is good. Raise with 77 called is bad. Missed flop and c-bet reraised is worse.

Guess what- I am a shove bot again.

Miracle. Got a free flop in the BB with 56off. Flop has two sixes. I check, other guy bets, other guy calls, I go all in… and the guy on the flush draw calls. He doesn’t hit it. OMG, back in!

Well, 7 of 10 but still.

7 of 9. Final Table baby!

OOH I AM SO LUCKY! The Big Dumb Loud One was just grabbing some stuff and they left!

WOOOT! I am so happy!

7 of 8 and still in shove city I think.

M is 6… I might be able to get away with one call or min raise before I am shoving… not sure. Meh, I might have enough stack left after a 3x.

Okay, so two guys are actually below me now- but we are all real close. If I outlast them I am getting paid. Then there are two guys with about 50% on me and then the monster stack.

Note: 50% up guy is all in vs. monster!

Monster folds! Not what I wanted to see!

And the blinds went up. Shit!

Not sure I can do anything elegant now.

AJ suited in the SB!

FUCK I FOLDED IT! Early raised 3x, big stack called… I couldn’t pull the trigger!

Note: Flop came QJ something- not my suit. So, it would have been scary if regardless… Mistake? All in was basically double what they already had. I’d be giving them odds to call… If I pushed they would be looking at 2200 into 7500 or something. And one guy STARTED the bidding, and one guy has 8 x everyone else’s chips. I think this was a good fold.

Big stack knocked out the remaining 50% guy (remaining because the first one doubled up a bit ago).

So, now we are down to 6. Two of us at 4k. One guy with a big blind more than us. Then a 50% more guy, a triple guy, and the big stack.

Oh, heh, I thought this was the bubble- nope- in the money!

I steal the blinds with AJ and then go all in the next hand with AQ. Big stack calls with A5. Flop hits ALL AROUND him. 87, flush cards, but never completes. Q wins it. HOY!

6th and 5th might as well pay the same but 4th is a nice increase. I am now solidly in 4th!

This is always such a volatile phase though.

Blinds are soo tempting to steal, nobody wants to get knocked out, small stacks NEED to double up… Crazy motivations.

Scary, KJoff in mid. Min raise. One caller, stole it after the flop. Oh man, adrenaline!

And BLAME we lose a body. I am happy- moving up the payout ladder- and sad- guy who took him out stole a limper or two also. He was the same size as me but is now double. Then a walk!

AQsuited- I 3x it from hijack and get repopped all-in. Not what I want but at this stage I don’t think you can toss AQsuited. Sorry Chad! I call. He has 88.

AND I WON ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKING RACE!!!!!!!

I am shooting DAMN NEAR 50/50 tonight.

I go out in 4th. I could have held on for 3rd. I fucked up. I “played” and should not have. I should have sat tight- after my double up the small stack had almost no chance of catching me. I won 22.5 and would have won 36.

I had A3off in the BB. Button limped. SB limped. I repopped it 3x. Immedietly I thought “if I am going to do this move with two limpers I need to do it heavier. Big stack calls- other guy folds. Flop comes 834. I continuation bet it. He reraises me. Did he limp with a pair? A8 or A4? I don’t think I believe him. I call. I should have reraised all in or folded as calling left me with less than the small stack. Turn pairs the 4. Unless he hit that 4 I think it might scare him and I go all in. Now, I know I don’t have any stackweight behind this move. He has odds to call me with NOTHING- but you need to swing I think. He had played K8. My bad luck he flopped top pair and wasn’t scared of me having a pair.

Nevertheless this was BY FAR me least UNLUCKY game in almost 2 months. And I would say that my ratio of sucksouts, races, etc… Was probably about “average”. I would also say without ANY DOUBT that my hands were BELOW average.

Anyway, first time I’ve been able to really enjoy a game. It’s too hard to be happy when your teeth are getting kicked in.

I was going to watch TV but now I am doing another!

Okay, now, a little self beating real quick here. My final hand was STUPID. After making 4th I should have done another analysis of the payouts. Everything about that hand was foolish. I could maybe kinda make an argument for the raise and the cbet. Everything else was foolish. I could have folded at that point and been fine. Dang it!

This is a second tier problem though. I played that poorly 100% *because* of my experiences this past 7 weeks. I played that way because I was overly damaged and out of practice after getting fucking plowed for no good reason immediately in almost every goddamn game. Okay, brush it off.

Okay, rock out! I was feeling a little nervous since the first hand a guy tripled up. Then, a few hands later I have JJ. I raise and two small stacks all-in with me. I almost double when they both have crap and I hit a set and river a full house! Jubilation man. Jubilation.

6 of 39 going into break. Not a bad start! I hope I can balance my elation and my ennui and play hands aggressively without being foolish (like when I went out last tourney).

I just added a rule to my “10 Rules I will Never Break” list. This was a Wannabe suggestion BTW. The rule was “I will always consider the value of each payout level once I am in the money.”

And my lead is gone and I am hurt. Why? I min raised the BB with A4suited. Hit the ace but he hit 2 pair with his ace. Shiiiit!

At least he had a better hand and did not play it wrong.

Oh but I am still full of… something. Shit! Grrr!

Jesus, same guy doubled up THE NEXT HAND with two pair again. WTF?

Okay, I am out. I push all in with 66, get called my A5off. I flop a set but the board FIVE FLUSHES but his 5 was better than the boards 3. Fuck me.

TV.

Back- doing a 3+3 deep knockout. First han TPTK tripled up… I would have quaded had I stayed…

I just STUFFED a piece of pizza in myself. I didn’t know I was so hungry, but man… I guess all that victory earlier… I joke. Its funny how invigorating that win was given how insignificant it was relative to my past couple of months. Oh well.

Anyway, chipped up 33% with top pair under kicker… actually 2 pair since the board paired… The other guy had the same pairs but his kicker was less than the board even. I would have liked to try and take more money from him, but my hand just wasn’t that strong and he had already QUADED UP (9 hands into the tourney) so he was somebody who was willing to throw a lot of volatility…

That was actually one of the only hands I’ve seen so far without an all-in. Based on this I am folding KQoff from mid with no action in front of me. I will give these guys a couple of blind rounds to cool their jets.

Yeah, this is crazy. A quarter of the field dropped in the first blind round.

I also signed up for a 180 that had almost nobody in it… It’s up to 60 now. Shit, Full Tilt fart. I drew ATs UTG and decided that I could make a little play with it- I made my raise then lost my connection. If I did anything other than scoop I’ve probably auto folded by now. Fuck that!

Okay, I got back before I auto lost. Scary too because the SB reraised me- but a min reraise. I will call it if the BB doesn’t do something stupid. He is currently disconnected and there is a status message about connectivity issues being resolved… sort of funny.

Gay. Flop was K2K with none of my suit and he bet into it. Done!

70 into the 180 now… I wonder if I will have to unregister. If it fills up this quickly into the 90 I don’t want to do it…

Ooh! Adrenaline! AQs in the BB. Mid position 4x, 2 callers. I pot size reraise- and two of them call. The pot is now bigger than my stack. I flop TPTK with 2 flush cards on the board… all in. Shockingly- they folded. Still, almost a double up!

90 knock-out went on break and 180 started while I was peeing. No hands dealt but cannot unregister. So, I will double it. And I hope “it” isn’t somebody’s chip stack.

Out of the 90. Irritated with the world about it. The guy who had tripled up first hand gave half of it back before the break. In the two hands before the break he doubled up and tripled up to be the chip leader. Then, after break, I get him into fairly big pots and flop VERY strong hands. Because of all his shenanigans I tried, both times, to push all-in expecting a call. He folded both times- coward!

Then, I flop top pair queen kicker on a board of 39A and we bet and raise and see cards and they are not scary and eventually it goes all in. Fucker had A9 for the two pair and I was crippled. I then pushed all in (against him) with KJ suited. He calls with 66. I flop four to the flush but still can’t make it pay. Done.

Meanwhile, a few early chip-ups in the 180 (never with super strong cards) have now been blinded off. I guess, given that I’ve yet to “play” I should be totally happy to be at the starting stack. I basically saw 24 hands for free.

Turning my full attention to it in 80 of 116. Pays 18 spots.

Truth is home safe from his Gay Pride Rally in SF and we got to chat a bit. He went to Bay 101 this morning and cashed in a field of 122. I am proud/jealous as has become the norm. He is going tomorrow to their Saturday tourney which has a buy-in of 200.

Okay, AS PER THE RULES, I need to own up to something awesome that just happened.

I drew AA and almost doubled up- although I made my shove at a scary moment when there was a KQof clubs on the board. He folded.

And then AA again two hands later.

The second time I had multiple callers preflop and the damn board came all suited- but of my suit. So I felt okay pushing. I doubled up and cracked a small stack. The guy who doubled me had KK of the same suits as me!

Cracked a guy with TT when he pushed all in with second pair… Sadly I was reseated from the fucking button to UTG- I thought this didn’t happen online? And proceeded to give away those winnings over two hands. Namely A9 against AQ. Where the Q held up and I doubled a small stack. How do I lose on both sides of that fucking hand?

Still, 7 of 67…

10 of 62 at break. Maybe slightly off- some tables are still playing.

I was just reading a post on 2+2 that talked about “feeling entitled to a pot where your money went in good” and I want to be clear that I do not feel entitled to those pots. What I feel entitled to is a quantity of those pots consistent with the edge I had at the decision point. It’s when I lose 4 coinflips in a row and a 5-1 that I start getting pissed and even that is mostly because I don’t think I ever win 4 coinflips then a 1-5.

Okay, massive chip hemorrhage. I guess after doubling up the guy with A9 I felt that I needed to even things out. I paid off two more guys in rapid succession dropping myself from top 10 to mid pack.

Fuck this is horrible. Another half my stack gone. I keep getting moderate strong hands in position and missing.

Now in 41 of 55. This is fucking awful and 90% my fault.

Doubled up to “not hurt so bad” with AKs against KQoff.

OMFG. I cannot begin to tell you how fucking frustrating it is to lose your fucking network connection when you are looking at a pocket pair.

But then, coming back and seeing AKs and pushing all in and getting called by AQoff and it holding up is pretty awesome. Holy shit, back to 11th!

12 of 34 with an M of 30.

So, Truth snores. And it is AMAZING when he does. I can literally feel the bass through the wall. When I snore I wake myself up. It barely almost sort of bothers me sometimes when we share a hotel room. I can’t complain because he pretty much ALWAYS has to pay… so I am a whore and whores can’t bitch about their pimp’s snoring. I’ve got horrific sleeping issues. Actually, similar to poker, one of my biggest problems is that I get to where I expect to get fucked. The only time his snoring is an issue is when I know we only have like 3 hours to sleep- so since I expect to have trouble my brain finds any issue. If we have a full night or don’t need to getup it is never an issue. I actually think it is kind of cute.

Called a min raise in the BB with QToff. Decent hand, 1 into 4… missed the flop, folded to a cbet.

13 of 30. I like this ratio. If I could play no more hands and hit 16 of 18 that would be okay.

Antes started- M reduced to 20. Lots of short stacks will be shoving now.

Dropped 20% of my stack while mantraing to stay out of trouble. Small stack- second to last place- made a move all in when I had AJ so I called expecting Ax or KQ or something… he had KK.

Not in DANGER but unlikely to fold to the money now. Will need to see some good cards.

17 of 26 going into the next break. Some tables still finishing so that might change a bit. Stack is 7,059 right now, blinds are 150/300/25 for 675 a lap. The small stacks are really clinging and I am due for some cards. Other than that AA earlier I’ve had no premium hands today (was the JJ that got cracked by 77 today? If so I guess I’ve had 3- but still in 9 hours… I am due) so I am due. Gimme gimme and let them hold up!

Small stacks are all chipping up stealing and doubling while I get dick for cards repeatedly. I had 44 UTG+2 and UTG went all in for half my stack. Other than that I’ve seen only poop!

Seriously, we are still at 26 and without putting any money out- or seeing any cards to play- I am in 20th- with less than 100 chips separating me from 23rd. Guys are doubling left and right with shit like J7off against 88. AAaaarrrgghhh! I feel so helpless!

And now blinds go up. I am not only not getting cards- but anytime I am REMOTELY in position to steal there is action ahead of me.

J6s early? Pass. Good thing too- AA went all in vs A7s. small stack doubling.

J6off next hand? Pass. Another all in AQ vs KQ. This time KQ busted somebody.

25off in the BB with raises? Nope.

48off in the SB? With an all in and a call in front? Nope. Lost somebody else though!

96off on the button? Pass. Blinds went all in too so, yay me. (QQ vs. KJ)

Rebalanced from button to hijack- so that is okay.

K3off? Folded with action in front.

19 of 21 now though. Gotta hate that.

47off? Still waiting!

QQ- here it is! Sadly, I only get the blinds. (4x raise, wanted a big stack to put me all in)

7Ts in early? Pass.

93off UTG? Nope.

Another smallstack just doubled. Grrr…

A3off in the BB. 4x from the SB. Give it up!

3Js in the SB. Nope.

A6off on the button. UTG limped- I tried to limp too. SB fucked it up for everyone. It turns into a all in challenge at after the turn- I missed everything.

Ooh, AA in hijack. 3x and scoop- FUUUCK!

J4off. Pass.

76off. Skippit.

AQoff UTG short handed. All in. And now I get callers. And from AK no less. He hits a K. I am out on the bubble.

Fuck my life.