Gimme Cards or Gimme Death

Ninja.

HPT trip is coming up. So far I’ve made good on my commitment to cash every day. I think, and tell me if this is pussing out, that I will count any traveling poker trip as free days. I don’t want to impede on opportunities to play at The Big Show with the need to bounce onto Full Tilt for a SNG.

5+5 SNG 9

Lost some money first hand. Paired board- open ended straight. Wanted to see the rest of the cards as cheaply as possible so tried to check through- I paid off a small bet with one street to go but, alas, no straight.

Playing poorly. Horrid mental state. Nothing else to do but suffer. This could be expensive.

5+5 SNG 9

9th- open ended and middle pair hit the made straight

I am playing like shit. This cannot stand.

5+5 SNG 9

2nd place

Hhmmm

I do not track my bank between every game but I feel as though I am 8 bucks light. At first I thought my last finish didn’t record- but it’s had plenty of time now…

For it to be correct right now I would need to have been down to 85 bucks… Did I zone out and lose a whole game that I never recorded???

5+5 SNG 9

Man, the bankroll issue is really bugging me. I can’t shake it.

Also, I am curious as to how Sklansky made his hand rankings. I’ve been doing some hand vs. hand matchups and getting hands with lower ranks beating hands with higher ranks. Maybe he has matched every hand against EVERY OTHER hand and sometimes a hand beats MORE hands but loses to a particular hand? Sort of a ro-sham-bo thing?

I hate when things don’t work out. I mean, I expect it and you build the hands that don’t pan out into your EV concept… But I hate when several decent hands turn into “give them up” hands and suddenly your stack is at half and you’ve got no more options. I am not chasing drawing hands- but lots of runner runner flushes or paired boards or only overcards coming… that sort of thing.

I can be gracious… and I can be other stuff. The following from the chat window:

“There was no way for me to not call that. Perfect size bet. Good job. Of course the preflop call was ridiculous you fucking retard.”

Assclown called about 6x raise preflop with A7off. He won because he four straighted broadway.

Why did I have to call? I started with pocket nines and I straighted to the king (obviously). It would be very easy for him to have two pair or something.

And I am out in 5th again. AK vs. JJ.

The guy who took me out is sort of interesting. I’ve been pretty active taking notes on players for a while now. They are almost ALWAYS notes about bad play- when I catch people pushing with retarded shit… that sort of thing. This guy I’ve got notes from multiple sessions of him just catching retarded fucking cards. In the game I just played- for example- I saw no big pairs… not sure if I even saw any small pairs. He showed down multiple premium pairs AND multiple sets. I don’t think I even had top pair ever.

Fuck man. I am slipping into why do I bother mode.

5.5 SNG 9

I shouldn’t play again- but we all know I am going to. I am not getting outplayed. I am sooo digging into what goes on to see what I can improve on. My play isn’t perfect- I’ve made some mistakes. But I’ve “earned” better than I’ve got today.

BUT I DID PLAY LIKE SHIT SOME.

Consistency is certainly something I need to work on. If you took the games I played poorly and removed them… I would be at a 100% got fucked ratio. But, had I played those strongly I might be looking at 50/50 with half wins and half fuckings.

Although, it’s hard to take comfort in that. Getting fucked still hurts in the ass.

I just fucked up. I made a move from the button and was reraised all in by the BB. I folded because I had KJoff- then I remembered the note I have on him basically says he pushes all in with jack shit regularly. I should have called.

Out again- to another suckout. I this cannot exist within a pure statistical environment. There is no way. I had him dominated and he hits his second pair on the turn after we are all in. What the fuck. Twice in one game too?

5.5 SNG 9

I just made a move and got reraised pretty hard- I let it go (KToff). But it made me realize I am on like my 9th game… 6+ hours of ONLINE play and I haven’t seen AA, KK, or QQ.

7th.

I watched KK get cracked. The next hand I’ve got AJoff in the SB. A min raise from early, a caller from late- and with my roughly 5x more than that in chips I go all in. Original raiser goes all in. Other guy also goes all in. Uh oh. I hit a Jack on the flop- but king guy hit a king for a set and cracked us both.

Go me!

5.5 SNG 9

First hand I lose two thirds of my stack to a guy who has me out pipped. Awesome.

I recover and run strong until I run KK into AA. What the fuck man.

Okay, there was some “justice”. I was knocked to an M of 1. 431 chips, blinds at 150/300 and guy on my left knocks out player 5 making us four handed- then raises the guy who cracked me’s big blind- and that guy goes all-in and busted. Two deals before I get blinded out!

So, a sneaky third.

5.5 SNG 9

I’ve been focusing a lot on the pain of the suckouts that make me lose. I was realizing just now that the suckouts that keep me from winning are really hurting my bottom line too! Twice today I got fucked in heads up- runner runner full house my ass you fucking cheater! But that’s 20 dollars in money NOT in my bank now. I’d be up a little instead of painfully down if not for that!

Ouch… crippled.

Min raiser from mid
SB calls
I call one BB worth in the BB with 53off- why? 5-to-1 odds is why
Flop comes 59K
Everyone checks
Turn is a 3
SB bets
I reraise quite a bit
He goes all in
Slow playing your top pair is about to get you spanked fucker! ALL IN!
He turns over 55.
A three did not save me.

Let’s see if I can recover… not likely. But let’s see.

I recovered to half stack… twice… two people are out who are not me- including the luckbox fuck who had that set.

Better than starting stack

And I am out. I can’t feel too bad. Check out this fucking hand.

QTsuited in late
3x raise
Button reraises 2x more
I call
Flop has 2KA with 2 of my suit including the ace
I check hoping for a free card but I am ready to go to the mat
He raises about half the pot
I reraise him all in
He calls and turns over AA
The turn is the K of my suit- giving me the nut flush and him the full house.

5.5 SNG 9

Let me be more clear. I can’t feel too bad ABOUT MY PLAY, but I can feel too bad that there is clearly a higher power at work here with the goal of crushing my soul. I decided that I was hungry enough to eat even though I hope to be in bed in about an hour. Between here and the fridge and back I suffered three separate bouts of such intense sadness that I sobbed.

Certainly the fucked up sleeping and exhaustion play a part. But does it matter if there is a physiological element when God is actively trying to demoralize you? I mean, and this is without even talking about the conversations with my son or best friends.

Fuck my life.

Its not “just bad luck” when it happens all the time.

5.5 SNG 9

It is happening again. I can feel it. The hate and rage and jealousy and bitterness and sadness are coming back. It’s like when you see the fog pouring over the mountain. I don’t know what to do. How do you play 8+ hours in a day and see enough people with AA to get knocked the fuck out TWICE by them- and never have them dealt to you? Oh hey, that works for full houses too. Oh! And I’ve had one flush- the nut flush- that ran into AA and a full house- at the same time.

While writing that- I saw another person with AA.

I just ran into AA again. And check this- I flopped the second nut flush- he had the fucking ACE with his AA. But did not catch it.

Chopped first after I busted luckbox.

I ran into AA three times- which is to say- was all-in in a hand where the other guy had AA. I can’t even begin to guess how many I saw or were at my tables. I never saw one. I had two flushes- BOTH in hands where the other guy had AA. One win, one loss. No boats. Don’t think I had any sets.