Tournament Donkey- otherwise okay

Ninja.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

When it got to five people they went nuts. Somebody all in almost every hand for multiple blind rounds. People getting paid off left and right- oddly nobody getting knocked out. Meanwhile I am card dead. Can’t catch somebody with 73off.

I make small moves with moderate cards and catch a guy trying to push me off with jack twice. Both chops. Then I pour some money into a board with trips on it- did he really have one of those three cards? Yes, the case.

And I am out. As I get low in chips and watch this incredible retardfest I fucking go all-in against the king retard with AJsuited and he turns over QQ.

That was just silly.

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Its all in thrusty madness from early on. I lose 1/3 my chips when I realize and need to fold out of a hand I wasn’t ready to go all-in with.

WTF is with people today?

Out. Same story as before but post flop. Went all in with second pair- of course I lost.

HHhhmm..

8th

5.5 SNG 9 seat

Doing one more- going to just play it super tight aggressive- no moves that I’m not willing to go to the mat with. Not sure what the fuck is going on but if I don’t do well I am done for a bit.

Okay, I went out on the bubble but I am going to forgive myself and keep rolling. I had the donkey silliness under control and played a hand well getting all of a guys chips in on the turn when I hit my flush. He just happened to have also played suited spades and one was bigger. This is a guy who I saw show down with NOTHING several times. Similar to the AJ move earlier I would do this every time without hesitation.

Okay, some thoughts on last night.

The nature of the discussion I had with Truth was really about how to handle a run of bad cards. This happens semi-often. It certainly seems to happen to me a lot more often than I believe is statistically probable- but still only like… 20-30% of the games. It seems streaky. I do not believe it makes sense to modify what I believe is a solid approach in 70%+ of games to address a thing that happens “sometimes”. Also, getting a run of bad cards does not mean you will continue to get bad cards so I do not believe that it makes sense to change gears INTERNAL to a given game.

But, when that run of bad cards leads to a chip stack situation that warrants a change up- that is different.

Just saw somebody show down AA and realized I haven’t seen a premium pair in two days.

Son of a…

Okay, out again. Two suckouts in a row. Second one was a runner runner flush.

5.5 SNG 9seat

Ran up some decent chips, had my first premium pair in two days QQ. Then ran AKsuited into AA.

Very frustrated.

The problem is that when the cards work out like this- its hard to know if its you or not.
I don’t think I am fucking up- but the results sure feel like it.

I’ve gone from feeling really good about all of this to borderline rage and wanting to die. My big buy-in game yesterday was wonky- I had weakish but not terrible cards- never built momentum- still made it deep. I built a HUGE LEAD in my SNG and then got FUCKED REPEATEDLY until I went out in 3rd. I had ZERO FUCKING OPPORTUNITIES last night at the live game. And I am on my 5th fucking SNG today and its been a goddamn Carnival of Ninja Fucking. I am not playing perfect but I am getting FUCKED. I am losing EVERY race. I am not getting good cards- are they terrible? No, not terrible- but not quite average I think. I am surrounded by random fucking donkeys who are all-in NON FUCKING STOP with NOTHING and they manage to wake up with monsters every time I make a move.

My ability to go “ah well, its poker” and not believe that this is the result of some COSMIC LACK OF WORTH from me as a person is smaller than these runs. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been watching the “no fucking playable fucking hands” thing very closely in the past couple of weeks and I now believe I need to be ready to last 120+ hands and I can only handle about 100 before I start to crack up. This, the multiple game fucking thing, is not something I have data on…

But the way it is working right now is beyond my capacity.

Okay, took first. I am not feeling really chatty. All the fucking lameness and crappy hole cards has me worn out.

Much later…

5.50 SNG 9seat

I am not a cop. I am not a cop. I am not a cop. I am not a cop. I am not a cop.

I bet with second pair on the flop
Get two callers
Turn pairs the top card on the board
Guy goes all in
Other guy alls
I fold
They both turn over nothing
NOTHING
One guy had two overs- the other had 1.

Oh and somewhere back there I won back to back games so… up for the day.

Some hijinx…

Was in a single table- entering into the final stages- and Sheriff showed up at the house. The plan was that we would have weekly live games Tuesday nights and apparently some wires got crossed and showed up early. We decided to watch The Grand.

Meanwhile I wrapped up a first place game. Is that three for the day? Am I crossing wires- lemme look. Okay, just two firsts there- I guess when I wrote that I won back to back games that was AFTER not before… I didn’t think I’d been back here.

Anyway, we watched The Grand, the Sheriff went home, The Cute Helpful One and Truth and I went to dinner. When we got home I cracked a new table. While I was playing Truth was debating canceling the game tomorrow. I decided that if he did that I would go with him to Garden City again since it meant I didn’t have a 50 dollar buy-in on Tuesday.

He decided to cancel and I turned over my game (that was down to three) over to him while I got ready. He busted me out- like a big donkey- and we took off to Garden City. Ahem… uh… just to be fair- I left him at a massive chip deficit and he pushed all in with AJ. So, its fine.

Anyway, get to Garden City, Sheriff is there, we sign up, Truth and I are at the same table. He is CRANKING OUT massive hands every hand almost. Hands that he isn’t blasting I am taking by scrounging middle pairs in late position, small pocket pairs, whatever… We are almost equal in stacks- he has a slight edge.

And then I fell apart. Total loss of discipline. I let myself get into hands with shit, make bad moves, call raises with nothing… It was a mess.

I went off to fume a bit. Drew a Weeping Buddha. Then, made another mistake. I signed up for a cash game while pissed off and broke.

My stated logic was “I can just pay blinds and wait for monsters so I am not sitting feeling sorry for myself” So I sit, and I fold every hand through two blind rounds. I am down 12 bucks- more than 20% of my stack. No cards worth looking twice at.

Then, on the button (in this game the BB pays 3, SB pays 2, and the button pays 1) the guy who was under the gun makes a min raise- 6 to play- and EVERY PERSON called. I look down at A8suited- and toss in 5 more. SB calls, BB goes ALL-IN. Goddamn it. I am not paying the rest of my chips to see a flop with A8suited.

Then a guy from mid calls. Then the guy to my right calls.

Well shit. I am looking at a 4xish chip-up now. I’ve got a suited ace… I can hear Harold Melvin saying something like “you were 46% to win against two opponents with the flush draw- it was very skillful play” and I am feeling like a fucking loser for donking out and for not getting any cards in two blind rounds and then getting suckered out of 5 bucks trying to see the party pot.

I have a self destructive streak that sometimes likes to MAKE THINGS WORSE ON PURPOSE when they are going bad. It must be some subconscious drive to take control. Like a kid seeking negative attention.

“Okay, party pot!” and I pound my chips into the middle.

I won with my 8. The guy who started it all had something like 54. He hit a 4. One guy had pocket 6s. One guy had A7off and hit a 7. I hit the 8 but no flush cards. There were 2 overcards on the board- a 9 and a J.

After I tipped the dealer I had 150 in front of me. I figured that was my batch of good luck for the day and left. So, I played the tournament for only 20 bucks effectively.

While I was waiting- I wrote the following. Please forgive my angry wallowing.

Ha! Following wallowing… NOT ON PURPOSE.

>>>>>

I played well until about 10 minutes before the first break and then I cracked. Total discipline shit. I called off an above average stack and went into the second period weak. I made a move and within the first couple of hands and was called. Dicksucker, who was the same assclown to hit the odd card on a paired flop before the break, proceeded to play A7 and hit the odd card on another paired flop (722). I, donkey that I am, pushed all in in response to his post flop bet.

Meanwhile Truth, who has NOT had a discipline break, hit every fucking hand for the first 30 minutes.

It would be easier to hold the line if everything did not turn to shit when I touched it. So, fuck me.

Meanwhile it is also true that I never saw a pair bigger than 99 or an Ace bigger than AT.

So… FUCK the whole world. Why can’t I get hit by a fucking car instead of drawing this bullshit out?? Why the FUCK would I want to continue to play a game (of life) that is setup such that I am fucking going to lose regardless?

Chapter 2

The biggest problem I’ve faced in the last year is a classic Illustration of what I will call The Gambler’s Luckbox. The Gambler’s Luckbox stats that you-

<<<<<<

It ended there. I believe I was going to go on and say that you will get good luck- or not bad luck- just often enough to keep you pouring in money. Its how casinos stay open.

Anyway, while I was typing that up I busted out of a single table without cashing. I put a lot of money into a hand that created a straight for somebody else on the turn. I realized before getting busted- but I lost half my chips. Then I took a stab with top pair shitty kicker and hit top pair not so shitty kicker. Game over.

Giving it another round now.

Twice this game I’ve hit a shitty pair- checked to the river- then called a small raise- and had them turn over J7 and hit the J on the river.

I’ve had two of the best hands I’ve seen in DAYS my last two BBs and both were walked- with 5 people left. AK and KK. Motherfucker.

It is my opinion that a premium hand that gets walked did not happen.

KK in the NEXT BB too- a guy limped and I managed to squeeze one more BB worth preflop out of him. He folded post flop- which had an Ace.

KK in the BB
I am the low stack
UTG (chip leader) raises 3x
SB calls
I go all in for roughly double more
UTG calls
SB thinks- then calls
Flop is A9A
UTG goes all in
SB folds
UTG turns over KQ

Holy shit I tripled and am healthy

3rd- I am happy- final round was BRUTAL